it all started this morning...

Day of silence needed. Had a rough morning, got to work, and updated my FB status to " RIP Infrashine. you helped me out a lot. i'll miss you."

Danielle commented: Oh no...sad day. Moment of silence...
I replied: more like a day of silence. lots of tears.
Danielle replied: lots of tears and not so-straight hair...double whammy!!
And back to me: i got whammy'd.

And, we moved to im...

Danielle: I'm so sorry about your loss
Danielle: I pray that you will find comfort and peace today
Shelby: thanks.
Danielle: feel free to mourn your memories togethere
Shelby: its been debilitating.
Shelby: i'm going to have a funeral/wake for it.
Danielle: remember the good times you had
Shelby: there were so many
Danielle: try to remember infrashine like she was when she was young
Danielle: don't hold on to those last few moments when things got ugly and sad
Danielle: I'm here for you...
Shelby: thanks. our last moments were so sad... its just like "what is wrong with you? you are barely warm. why?!?"
Shelby: and then...the flood gates.
Danielle: LOL!!!
Shelby: i'm gonna blog this exchange.
Danielle: she's in flat iron heaven now
Shelby: she is.
Danielle:she's a consistant 400 degrees
Danielle: all the time
Shelby: that's the only thing that gives me solace...and that i'll see her someday. she's waiting for me.
Danielle: always providing her companion with smooth, straight, undamaged hair
Shelby: yeah, i mean, its for the best. i'm just so selfish. thinking all about me. what am i going to do now? how is my hair going to get stick-straight. why is this happening to me now?
Shelby: its just thrown my day all upside down.
Danielle: she's flat ironing the hair of unicorns and Pegasus now. be happy that she's free. because in flat iron heaven...there are no cords or plugs
Shelby: that's right! she's unhinged.
Danielle:this whole convo just made my morning
Shelby: ok...instead of a wake/funeral, we will have a celebration service.
Danielle: I could go on and on...LOL
Shelby: i know. lol. gotta laugh to keep from crying, right?
Danielle: right...it's the only way to heal and move on to another flat iron relationship
Danielle: she would want that for you
Shelby: she would. she was always so free with her love. she knew if she wasn't the best for me, she'd always step aside. maybe, she was just coming to the realization that she couldn't help me any longer, and she committed suicide so that i could move on.
Shelby: why prolong the inevitable, you know?
Danielle:no no...don't think that way
Shelby: i mean, why else.
Danielle: she would never intentionally leave you like that
Shelby: (the tears are starting again)
Danielle: it was just her time
Shelby: ok.
Shelby: that's right. i just wish i could've said good-bye
Danielle: guess what I just found on our database
Shelby: what?
Danielle: a person named "Jabin"
Shelby: LOL.
Danielle: almost like "Jobin"
Danielle: LOL
Shelby: catch ya later jobin
Danielle: you did watch that movie right?
Shelby: totes mcgotes!
Danielle: LOL
Danielle: see ya later on the mangees
Shelby: lol
Danielle: ok, I need to work
Shelby: OK. bye.

random thoughts from my spin class.

here's a few basic rules:

1. you are going to sweat. if you don't sweat during spinning, there is something physcially retarded about you.
2. because you are going to sweat during spinning, you should use the towel that Sun Oaks provides to you when you hand them your keys.
3. you should NOT leave the towel on the floor by your gym bag.
4. you should NOT forget your hair tie which then allows your hair to become a sweat-soaked sponge.
5. And...now...the most important rule: you should NOT shake out your hair during the middle of the song and shower me with your sweat.

Nasty. Ugh. So inconsiderate. I nearly dry-heaved during class yesterday.

i've had some pretty killer ideas lately

not "get rich quick" schemes, per se. more like things that i think the world should have..but doesn't yet.

Flashback a month. My roommate. Turning 25. What to do? Chello...Great America! It was totally my first time going to Great America. I felt like a little giddy girl...running around the park getting my hair all frizzed out on the rides. Epic.

Idea #1: the world needs my themepark. Picture this: Shelbyland... "its the SCHWITT" would be the motto. I see a huge archway, flanked on both sides by the big balls from Wipeout, and a constant stream of park-goers queued up to try their luck. Already, as you are walking in, Shelbyland gives you immense joy, as you see person after person fall into the water after they inverted their body in unnatural ways while flying through the air. What could be better than that? Probably a good 99% of themepark lovers would be pissed because there would be absolutely no kiddie rides. This is not a place for wusses. If you want to ride here, you sign a medical waiver that any injury you incur at Shelbyland is at your own risk...you could very well receive a slipped disc from the Extreme Teacup ride that i plan on manufacturing...but that is what you need to consider before you sign up. Can you handle it? You have to be ready mentally and physically. Oh, and sidenote: the restaurants in Shelbyland only serve cheese, diet coke, beer and menthol cough drops and we don't allow outside food at all. You'll be frisked and made to throw all food away prior to entering the park.

Flashback again: 2 weeks ago. i had just had the most earth shattering, joy inducing, emotional experience at coldplay. like, i DIED. (next stop on the list of bands to see: MUSE. douche-bags aren't playing in america though until 2015 it seems. ugh.) anyway, saw chris martin and sang about not wanting to follow kevin or his friends at the top of my lungs for at least a good two hours...worked up an intense sweat punch-dancing and screaming like a hysterical fan when CM got within 150 yards of me. I was seriously derranged and it was the best night of my life.

On the way home, Derrick, Danielle and I had the best conversations...Niki had fallen asleep, so she was down for the count (i think seeing Chris had lulled her into this euphoric state where there was nothing to do but sleep...precious.) But, here is where the good ideas start.


Idea #2: MEOW-BOP. Like Kidz-Bop (my favorite retarded venture where adults pay small kids to sing songs that Justin Timberlake creates about my humps and lumps, so that mom's can play it in the car with their kids and not feel guilty about playing booty-shake music around their impressionable-young-minded babies...totally a fan of kidz-bop. i have one of their cd's. its a fav.) But, here's my idea: MEOW-Bop...for cat enthusiasts. It'll be a cat choir, meowing, hissing and generally making the same noises as whatevers on the current Top 40. Picture this: Boom Boom Pow is "meow, meow, meeeeow"...omg. i'll be a millionaire. Derrick was totally on board. I think Danielle needed a little more convincing, but seriously, we'll rake it in. People love cats, people love music...what could be better?



Flashback to a few days ago: working my cute little butt off...and i start thinking about how to make facebook better. I mean, facebook in and of itself is a pretty positive venue. You only have the option to "like" things, can't "dislike" things (or people...which is unfortunate). So, how can facebook be better.

Idea #3: I'm serious...let's make Facebook for Toddlers! Introduce a Preschool network so that all our 4.5 year olds can connect with all their other friends. Now...as i was walking Clover Creek today with Elaine, we started to talk through some of the logistical challeneges of FBP. First and foremost logistical challenge: child predators posing as children. I won't go into the details, but Elaine and I (well, mostly me, but she was there) have come up with a highly-sophisticated idea combining the collection of a handwriting sample from our Toddlers to ensure age accuracy. Again, i can't go into the details, but let's just say that we do consider the writing implement used (fat crayons are more "toddlery" than a nice felt-tipped pen) and fludity of strokes (what toddler has perfected cursive). I'm confident that we'll be able to weed out the fakers from the real prescheoolers. Second logistical challenge: do most toddlers know how to use a normal computer? I mean i know that toddlers are more and more tech savvy. Judah can totally school me in Leapster...I'm a straight retard compared to him. But, do they really just grab momma and daddy's macbookpro and start typing away? No...probably not. So, thus, the FBP has its own new FBP computer. Picture a Mac...but with HUGE buttons with a "like" button, and a bunch of happy little symbols like a smiley face, and a sun, and butterflies and trees. And, so instead of stringing together coherent thoughts, they can comment on their friends walls with a picture of a cute little bunny. Its kinda like the Jitterbug cell phone for old people, but in computer form for toddlers. Everyone following me? Then...the creative juices really hit. Elaine and i were talking about target launch dates...i said probably Feb of 2010 i'd have these things hitting the shelves. But, then i got to thinking...there's no way we can't get it done by October 2009...just in time for Christmas baby! Let's rake that cash in. And, Elaine, being a marketing genius mentioned the fact that Tickle Me Elmo will be a thing of the past. Or...does it need to be. FBP Tickle Me Elmo computer! It has an Elmo icon on the top, and you can send your friends "tickles" back and forth, and when you get one, your computer starts to shake!!! Oh, gosh. You guys. Someone needs to PAY me for all the great ideas i'm putting out into the universe.

I'll keep you all updated on how we come along in the product development of it all. I mean, needless to say, i'm going to be pretty busy...with casting cats for Meow-Bop (i'm looking for cats with raspy, sexy voices ONLY), and then testing the rides for Shelbyland (and drawing up the nutritional info for all the cheese-items on the menues), and getting w/ Elmo's people to see if they can invision what i invision.

Its tough being me.

i laughed at these things during the last 24 hours.

• dub bringing over his ABNORMALLY LARGE flat screen so that we could watch harry potter. seriously... roommate...good choice.
• radical face: "coming home"...makes me want to cry. i'm a sucker for a good manly wail.
• one of my clients told me that he was going off the grid for the next few days, to which i asked him "are you literally off the grid...like not using electricity and eating organic and all that stuff?" to which he replied: "
  "ya, i have devised and built a small coal powered electrical generator using twigs and mud and am recycling my urine as a coolant. i am harvesting milk from mountain goats, osprey eggs an baby frogs for sustenance. i feel very good about my new found green commitment and making amends for my carbon footprint last year.
  good times"...it made me laugh so much.
• and speaking about being green...dub also left his organic eucalyptus (?) soap...i'm in love. this soap is amazing. i want to go to orchard, buy it in all sorts of flavors, and buy the lifestyle that comes along with it...i really do want to live more organic...have a compost heap, get a bike, fix solar panels to my roof... I think i have a mini-environmentalist living in me that would love to be more exercised.

here's to Wednesdays...they are good. its half-way through the week, and i'm happy about that.

i have a new baby

baby ulcer, that is.

yea!

thanks work!

and three cavities from all the coffee i drink at work, which, coincidentally, has contributed also to my throbbing stomach ulcer.

and, while, i have gotten a TON done in the last few days, my other work has been piling up on me, so now that i've gotten one major project done, its never enough...still soooooo much more to do.

Sometimes, i wish that everything that I had to do was written on a piece of paper. (not a list) but that every item was its own piece of paper, and i had an acutal inbox, and mountains of papers on my desk, and as i got stuff done, i could watch the pile decrease!

instead, its just little red pop-ups on my computer, and emails in my inbox with subjects that read "DANGER: TASK DRASTICALLY OVERDUE (do it now idiot!)"

somehow, that's not as motivating to me as throwing away a piece of paper would be.

i'm going to take a minute out of my crazy day...

after i took an hour out of my crazy day to have lunch w/ danielle at the bandito...

and i'm going to blog.

about getting things done at work: it makes me feel like i actually deserve to be paid. that is a good feeling.

about the fact that sometimes i'm happy that i don't live near too many of our employees because they would surely want to hunt me down and kick me in the uterus after some of the e-mails i send them...

about summer...because today is the kind of day that i would play hookie and leave everything to go lounge by the pool.

about financial peace, because someone is going to have to restrain me this weekend...cause i want to go shopping.

about trader joes and sushi and fresh raspberries and about the fact that i need to do some sort of master cleanse and part of a master cleanse is eating right in the first place, and part of eating right in the first place is shopping at Trader Joes and not food maxx.

about star trek, because never once have i wanted to travel in space until i saw zachary quinto and chris pine and thought, "well, if that is in space...its my final frontier" be still my heart.

about beth moore...because she certainly is angry that i've neglected my bible study lately.

and about harry potter, because that dang 2nd book is occupying the time that beth more should be occupying. boo harry. but, mandy's making me read them in time to see the next movie with her, so i can't let mandy down. i just have to find more time in my day. my priorities are so out of whack.

like why i'm taking time to blog and not to work. boo shelb...boo.

the most preciousest moments

are stolen moments with the babies. today, derrick and danielle are doing stuff around town and so i'm hanging out w. the kiddies, watching alice in wonderland. (aside: i was never a big fan of alice in wonderland...there are parts which are so scary!)
just as the movie began, zoe finsished her juice, came over to give it to me, and as she walked back to her bean bag, i said...
me: hey zoe
zoe: what?
me: i love you.
zoe: mry mub you.
i love her english right now...you can tell she's trying so hard. she gets the phonetics of words correct...i liken listening to her like playing that game where there are all those common phrases but they are spelled differently (obviously i can't remember the name of the game, or else i wouldn't have felt the need to ambiguously describe it...). when listening to zo, you have to just imagine what she'd probably be saying in the context and then just go with what seems most probable.

life updates:
nothing much to note. i'm excited for the summer...if only i could get paid without having to work. payday is my most favorite day. i love spending a few minutes with my budget binder figuring out how much i need to put into savings (sidenote: i'm getting super frustrated with myself...its almost like i view my savings as my neverending clothes fund. "i can always pay my savings back next paycheck...i really need summer clothes or a month of tanning or insert-must-have-item-here" really?!?! really, do i really need everything that i think i do? no...that's what got me into this mess in the first place.). so...savings has almost been completely replenished from the failed trip to Seattle...and now its back to paying off the scooter. I almost think it may be wroth it to get it in semi-running order, drive it out to RYS and get them to fix everything that needs fixing and then sell it...instead of fixing everything myself. i'm not much of a mechanic...although i like to think i can do anything, sometimes i just can't. with roommate and D&D reminding me this is the season to sell it, i really do need to get it done asap.

I'm always surprised by my procrastination in my personal life. Usually i will put something off if i feel like the thing i need to do is too difficult, or put off talking with someone because i feel like i've failed them...its totally a personality flaw. As i found with registering my car after it hadn't been registered for a while, things usually are not as difficult as I make them out to be in my mind. I just need to get to the point where i just go ape and attack my problem. And that's when i find that my problem isn't that bad...no reason to be scared...just do it.

I just sneezed two times. Do i have allergies? I wish. That would be fun. Sneezing always has been my favorite activity...its just so fun to sneeze. I wonder...does anyone feel the same as i do about sneezing?

Rodeo these past few days...i think i'm glad that the rodeo is done for the year. Its fun when it comes to town, but in the grand scheme of things, I can only deal with too many rodeos. Its always funny to me that you don't see any cowboys at these things who come from New York or Seattle or San Francisco...its all rural Oregon, Cut Bank MT (which is near Shelby MT, in case you really wanted to know...), Cottonwood CA, and all the other UT and ID rural areas...I wish above all that there was just ONE cowboy from Seattle. I would maul him. Well, as long as he's tall and blond and has been around enough Southerners to have a little bit of an accent. I would die.

I wish Sun Oaks was free. And i wish that tanning was free and good-for-you i.e., no chance of premature aging of the skin or skin cancer. And I wish toucan tans had longer hours and more parking.

This is quickly becoming a "things Shelby wishes for" blog:
zoe will always talk like she does now
an emergency fund that won't let me withdraw any money from it
a fixed scooter
a sold scooter
allergies
a cosmopolitan cowboy
free gym membership
tanning with the promise of enough parking and no negative ramifications

Ok, this blog is slowly getting out of control. I'm going to stop now before i start rambling about truly random things, as if everything prior hasn't been random enough.

ALthough, one more random thing: can i just say...i love paying cash for things...Not using my debit card as much anymore has been a budget saver. And, i love when i get change back and then roll my change. If i've learned anything about myself in the past few years, its been that i'm a true nerd. Gotta love it though...

here's my shout outs:

to...

1. walks home in the rain from survivor night, smelling the asphalt because it had just rained.
2. bagels and amazing race yesterday: i loved seeing my friends. derrick and danielle and crazy kids...nothing made me laugh more than dressing judah and zoe up in my scurve (judah-speak for "scarf" waaaay back in the day) and having them run around manhattan like crazy kids with turbans and darth maul masks on. oh man, i love you guys.
3. the rain yesterday. torrential downpours. nothing like a freak-act of nature to remind me that 1. i'm ready for summer and 2. i really do love winter and the rain, even though sometimes i complain about it. the best part about it...opening your door and watching everything, all the old crap, just wash away.
4. my roommmmmmmate. I'm sorry i give you temptations that you can't resist (peanut m&m's). the reality of it is, you have to be stronger. if you can't take my bringing peanut m&m's in the house...what are you going to do when i graduate to almond m&m's...or what is worse...almond kisses! omg...stormy seas ahead.
5. abbreviations. someday, i'll just write 1 letter sentences and people will have to know that "t" means "thanks for keeping me in the loop on that." for now, i'll settle w/ omg and btw and ptl and all the other ones that i keep locked up in my crazy head.
6. cute bff necklaces. which one to choose? which one to choose???? just kidding...i lvoe them both. There is room in my heart, and around my neck for two necklaces.
7. golfing. Toot, Nathan told me that you want to go golfing!!! When?!?! I do too...mini golfing totally, aqua golf, maybe...Any sort of golf, definately. :) Let's suck at golf together!!!
8. The idea that in 8 hours, i get to go home, clean up the house and just relax...that, dear ones, is what is keeping me going.
9. my outfit today. i'm usually not a very vain person, but my outfit today is a total throwback to my wardrobe 1.5 years ago, and while i wear versions of this outfit every other week, i'm just so happy with the outcome this morning. it just works. if you are lucky, you'll see me around and be amazed at it.
10. being back on the fpu wagon. not going to seattle was a good choice...at least financially. (and in many other ways, but better to save that discussion for my big day) i have no extra money right now, but i rest in the assurance that everything is paid, things are getting paid off, and that i really do want for nothing. God is good in that i haven't had a late fee for ANYTHING for the past 8 months or so. and to come from a place of everything being late, to God providing for my needs in such a tangible way...it just makes me grateful. and, God-willing, i'll have the determination to get all debt taken care of in a year or so. and then...who wants to buy a house with me??? oh, ok, i know, that's crazy. but, i'm thankful. and really, i don't know that my first big purchase would be a house. it'd probably be a tv that's as big as my living-room wall...like i've heard Jared Belden has...and then we can give Tyler's back to him. Oh well...

Here's my non-shout out:

1. to my uterus. stop. just stop.

can i just say...

there's nothing more relaxing than doing something that you've felt pressed to do for a few days and finally getting it completed?

i've been trying to work on being a procrastinator...for the longest time, i put the "pro" in procrastination...always thinking i'll have more time to do what a i need to do tomorrow. But, then i came to a realization: i never have more time, so i may just as well get things done now, rather than let them accumulate and then they get too large in my mind and i never do them because i feel so much pressure.

can we say perfectionist? geez...i totally am.

anyway, today is a good day...i feel like i got a lot of things accomplished and i feel a sense of victory in that. Wonderful!!!

If you see me around town, give me a high-five for not procrastinating. (and them remind me why you are high-fiving me, because i'll probably forget why and think you are a freak who just likes high-fiving.)

ode to tyson

i will miss him...the hottest human being that i've ever seen in my life. however, well, these last few episodes he got a little crazy intense and needed a little bit of an attitude adjustment.

what is coach going to do without his assistant coach? what is debbie (aka cougs) going to do without her younger boy-toy? its all too sad, really. i'm going to do a little cry...and then be done with it.

in other news, when i came into work today, realized that all the support staff was not in, either taking the day off, or sick. it felt a little bit like the days back in bechelli when it was just me, keri, mitch and steve (and angela). Today, though, quiet office environment to fully concentrate = the best Friday gift someone could give me.

thanks jesus.

so, who knows how to golf?

I need to learn how to golf, and fast.

There may be an opportunity in the next few weeks to play my first 18 holes, and i need to know how to play. Well, let me re-phrase, i need to at least learn how to fake knowing how to play...to learn enough to get me by. I will do this in two ways: first: mini-golf. this will help me with my shortgame. knowing how to putt is going to be my key to success. Accuracy...not force. Mini-golf is my answer.
Second way: aqua golf to work on my driving. Nothing better than hitting the crap outta a couple dozen balls to work on my driving form and power. Yikes...if its anything like pool and frizbee golf, the minute i start concentrating on doing well, i'm going to start playing like crap. My goal, while playing, is keeping my focus off the game so that i can just do amazing from the get go.

Bingo.

everybody's working for the weekend

i know this shouldn't be my normal default...just passing the time until its the weekend, but i can't help it...i am.

its my birthday week...happy birthday to me! i'm so jazzed that i have Friday off...lots to get done in my life before Friday comes.

things to get done:

• the volv is in the shop today. don't worry, preciouses...nothing bad will happen to her. she's just getting a little tune up...making sure some of the things that she needs to run well are in tip top shape.
• hair time on wednesday...hello more blonde! thank you roommate for being a kick-ace hairstylist.
• i was going to join a gym for the summer...mostly because i miss spinning like the dickens. and, while xtreme fitness is a great cheap alternative to any other gym in the area, i remember, over these past few weeks, why i ABHORE them...they call...and call...and call...and tell me (via voicemail because I NEVER pick it up) that i signed on to an e-mail list requesting info (which i didn't), and then they keep calling. Multiple times during the day, which clues me in to two very important facts. 1. they are disorganized. i can just imagine that they have some list that people call off of, and when the first shift gets in, someone calls me, and then, again, when the second shift people come in, they call again, just to make sure...which leads me to my second point: 2. they are desperate to the point of being annoying. we've all had that friend that just calls and calls and calls, without much effort on our end. urgh...it makes me so annoyed when i see them calling. next time, i'm going to answer and kindly tell them that i don't go places that stalk me over the phone. just a general practice of mine. so...off to find another gym that has alternating spinning and yoga classes each day of the week. it may just be sun oaks time again.
• i have another big day on Friday...lots to talk about and dialogue through...actually, tons running through my mind right now. if it weren't for my roommate listening to my incessant ramblings and occasional tirades, i don't know what i would do. if you don't know my roommate...get to know her. she's pretty dang awesome. come to think of it, i should go out to coffee with my old favorite roommate julie...Um, Tut...want to do coffee soon? I know you read this, so i expect an answer forthright. (old english is always a tradition of mine...i used it around the time of my birthday, and not for the rest of the year.)
• i have to write a birthday blog list. i'm putting this one off..mainly because all the things that i want are either really retarded (the lady gaga cd...i know, i know...i just love it) or really mundane (best buy gift cards...so i can buy the lady gaga cd). i'm feeling social anxiety because i have to write this list. actually, in the grand scheme of things, i'm going to embrace this as a good exercise in self-appreciation and exceptance. we didn't talk about that last Friday, but i'm also trying to supplement my therapy with other therapy terms and ideas and giving myself homework.
• i want to go shopping this week for more cute summer dresses. i can't help it...i'm in a summer dress kind of mood! i want more cute things! But, the big question is: can the budget handle it? Maybe it can...maybe it can't. Where's my financial peace accountability partner? Take my debit card out of my hand!!! :)

And, well, that's it really...doesn't seem like a lot, but it feels like tooooooooooo much. Acutally it doesn't. Just feels like more than i normally accomplish, but hey, i can handle it...I can handle it. (I'm practicing my positive self affirmations.) I can handle it.

Ok, i know i sound like a freak...if only you knew how kidding i am. Kidding...but not kidding.

Let's get 'em!

ladies of leisure

Yesterday i left work around 3, 3:15 because i had completed absolutely everything that i hoped to accomplish.

Drove the volv home, and as i drove home, wondered if the mail had come, and if it had brought me anything interesting. (Checking the mail has become a new hobby of mine...now that i'm not scared anymore about all the bills that come in the mail, i find getting the mail to be an exhilerating experience.)

So, as i drove into the parking lot, i see the mail truck. Bingo! Maybe my UsWeekly will have come...or the PGE bill so that i can update my budget.

I parked, went inside, and put down my stuff, all in anticipation to go right back outside to get the mail.

And, as i opened the door, i realized something...the only people walking to check their mailboxes at 3:15 on a sunny Thursday afternoon are the silver-haired bettys who live alone in the apartment complex. Sersiously, there were 3 oldies-but-goodies walking and driving to get their mail.

So...i laughed at myself a little bit...as i had just joined their club. And started singing B-town's "All My Single Ladies"...and imagined what they would look like as my backup dancers if i were ever to do a music video to that song.

Scary.

its not really a weekend away unless...

the person left in charge of your most precious possessions locks the youngest in the car.

sorry derrick and danielle.

but, to be fair, she did have a jamba juice so she was good to go for sustenance. and, i didn't panic under pressure...i just called niki and asked her what the password is to unlock the doors.

all in all, there was about an extra minute that she spent in the merc.

good times.

i'm watching the little mermaid with the kids right now...

and the favorite comment from judah so far is....

"i didn't know that crabs could talk!"

hells yea CA

thanks for sending me my tax return 1.5 months behind schedule!

And, in other news, i woke up this morning thinking, "if i were ever to own large amounts of hamsters, i would name their living quarters Hamsterdam."

update on the weekend

the softball game as fun, albeit uneventful. (no, the scenario in my mind where cute counter boy sees me from the outfield, throws his glove off, runs into the stands and wisks me off my feet did not occur...still, a girl can dream.)

nite life: probably the best one i've seen in a long time, and it really made me want to go and find my backstreet boys and 'nsync cd's. man...they had talent.

sunday: i have a sinking suspicion that i'm a closet rock star...ROCKBAND! because it was my first time playing and my coordination is not yet where it needs to be, i can't play guitar, bass or drums, so i decided to be the singer. i definately hit my stride during the long notes of "eye of the tiger"...who knew i could hold those notes so long? Black Betty is a song that i'm going to need to work on.

and, birthday plans revised: i just want a barbeque or something. if wipeout would be on tv, i'd want to watch that. If you want to come to my birthday bbq, feel free. All are invited. There are probably only two people that aren't, but i don't think they'd want to come anyway. It'll probably be on or around the middle of April.

a nice, leisurely lunch, followed by some witty banter

the best...

Ok, so here's what happened to me today. I LOVED this interaction that i just had...mainly because it was so funny to me.

Work, work, work, and now its 12:30p. Hunger pains. What to do? Go to lunch w/ Niki!

Swing by the bank, withdraw my money for the next few weeks (clothes, food and gas...thanks Dave Ramsey) and as i get back in the car, we have to decide where we are going to go to lunch.

Niki's previous idea about Jamba Juice didn't sound particularily appetizing so i suggested Great Harvest...the best bakery in the world. I love going there early in the morning, smelling the bread, drinking a nice peet's iced latte and getting a free slice of bread.

Well, as we walked in there today, i was bowled over by this amazing pastry that they had on the counter. Come to find out, it was freshly-baked marionberry pie, of which was broken up into little cups of heaven, free for the tasting.

I was offered a sample by a guy who worked there. (inner dialogue: "who is that? I don't recognize him? he's outgoing...he just offered me pie.")

I accept with a enthusiastic "shut up! i love marionberry pie!"

homeboy is silent. He took me literally.

(inner dialogue: ok, he's got a sense of humor. i like that...finally someone comes out to play with me...i love sass.)

i tell him i didn't mean it, have my little sliver of marionberry heaven. niki orders her sandwich, i order mine, banter, banter, pleasantries, pleasantries.

Homeboy walks away to get our tea and water, and as he's vacated his position behind the counter, one of the older guys who works there comes up to usand asks us if we had tried their marionberry pie. I tell him no, we weren't offered any. He walks away, and me and Niki just laugh about the whole exchange up until now.

Older guy comes back out with forks and more pie, and says, "you have to try this pie." And, now, i get apologetic, and explain that really, i was given pie, and it was so very delicious. The best i've ever had. He offers me another sample, and being a girl who loves a little pie, i accept.

As out sandwiches are being artistically created, we go out and find a seat. I choose a half-sun exposed beauty of a table and we sit down to sun ourselves and lunch.

Here's where things get interesting...we get our sandwiches, eat and as niki's finished her sandwich, cute (oh, did i mention he was cute?) guy comes back out and, while taking niki's tray away asks how things were, if we needed anything else, and then looked at me and asked me if i wanted more pie.

(inner dialogue: "again with the sass! can i just please have a guy who teases me in a fun way? that attribute so attractive.")

I told him if he wanted to give me a whole pie for free, i'd gladly take it. He smiled, told me he'd work on it and walked back inside.

I finish my sandwich, and as i'm done with my sandwich, he comes out again to tell me that he checked with his manager and that they are playing a softball game tonight at big league dreams and that if i show up at the game tonight, he can give me 10% off. I take a second to clarify: 10% off on the entrance fee to Big League Dreams or on the pie? Cause that is a big difference. Its $2 to get into the park and the pie is probably around $10...so really i w as being given either .20 or $1...its a big difference that deserves a little clarification (thanks again Dave Ramsey). Nope, not the entrance fee...i'm by myself on that one. I could get 10% off on the pie..

I ask him what time and which field. "7pm, Wrigley". I ask him how i'm going to get my 10% off and he tells me that I'll have to find him after they are done. How am I going to find him if i don't know who he is, so I ask his name, he tells me, and i tell him mine and that i'll be there. He walks in, Niki has a good laugh and i do as well, as this is probably the most random lunch experience i've ever had.

We continue drinking our teas and waters, enjoying the sun and just basking.

After about a good 20 minutes, cute-counter boy comes back, asks us if we need refills on anything. I decline. (too much water is bad for the skin, i've heard.) Niki does get some more iced tea.

He comes back out with her tea and tells us that he talked with his manager further, and they made the decree that i can only have the 10% off if i get the pie now, and that essentially absolves me of having to go tonight. I tell him that I really was planning to go to the softball game, and that, unfortunately, i can't take the pie with me back to the office.

He doesn't beleive that i'll come and i tell him that i really do love live sporting events, and he says they play really poorly. I tell him i'll probably spend the time laughing at them, and i really laugh when people get hit by balls. He tells me he'll get hit by a ball on purpose.

I laugh, and niki and i get up to go, and as we are walking out, we acutally run into one of the other guys who works there and he asks us if we are coming tonight. Affirmative, Great Harvest, we will be there. No need to wonder...this is a fact.

We laugh as we go out to the car...its the most funny lunch encounter i've had. (Its my theory of pherimones in action.)

And, really, despite what Great Harvest thinks, I really will be going. Because really, i do love Big League Dreams softball, and i love being stubborn, and heck, a girl's gotta have some fun.

So, come out to Big League Dreams tonight, 7pm at Wrigley Field if you want to see at least one cute guy get hit by a ball. It should be good times.

sometimes it takes me a while to get up in the morning

well, not literally "to get up". i do that pretty quickly.

jump out of bed and run to the bathroom to dive in the shower.

it takes me a long time to mentally get up.

I've noticed something though. its easier for me toget to work and start immediately if i've been working overtime earlier in the week, or if i go to bed thinking about work and i wake up thinking about work. if that's the case "getting up" is totally easy.

But if not...if i'm thinking about my life when i'm waking up in the morning, well, then it takes me forever, a day and 3 carmel macchiatos to actually be mentally present.

In other news, i'm nearing my 2 year anniversary with my first client. What a crazy two years its been. He makes me want to drink sometimes, but i love him.

And...now that i have woken up by writing this blog, and drinking my first carmel macchiato of the day, i'm going to go make calls on that first client of mine.

3 days until the weekend. I gotta say...i'm excited.

i'm watching the kiddies right now

judah tells me to write "zoe is crazy. judah is awesome."

i ask "anything else?"

judah tells me to write: "zoe is crazy. judah is fun."

i ask "any last words?"

judah says "well, probably write zoe...zoe, zoe, zoe, zoe. how come you are not writing zoe? oh, there it is. you are writing zoe."

then he made me read it a few timeS TO HIm. (and zoe had fun with the caps lock key.)

sometimes, i play out scenarios in my mind of what would happen if i went ape on people...

certain people...not just a random ped on the street. (that would be jacked up if i just went bananas over some person walking down the street.)

yes, certain people who have the insane ability to rile me right up. I don't like being rileable. Its not one of my proudest characteristics.

But, this morning, i got all sorts of riled up re: someone.

What did i do?
had a 10 minute cry. (I hate crying at work... it takes me back to the days before i worked at my current job...days of stress, frustration, incredibly unrealistic expectations and feeling like no one really gave a shit about me.)
mistakenly hit a "reply to all" button on an e-mail, and sent an e-mail to some of the people i manage that i shouldn't have...and that makes me feel like a prize retard because now i look weak and technologically-inept.
breathed
talked to my favorite client, talked to one of my favorite friends (two seperate people...), laughed a TON at them and with them
wrote down the number for the Spa Downtown and at 10am (promptly) made a call to schedule a 90 minute massage...which commences in 1 hour and 45 minutes.

and 20 minutes ago, called to apologize to the person who riled me up regarding my reactions that occured this morning.

All things considering, i think that's progress.

and this will be my last post for the day...

the lonely island boys (andy samberg and his crew, possibly to include T.Pain) are coming out w/ a new cd.

so, now, if you want to jam to lazy sunday or ras trent, all you have to do is put in your iPod buds.

it's a great day to be alive.

And, actually, a really great day: Space Olympics will be on the album too.

the changeling

i wanted to post this yesterday, but i got sidetracked from it by watching a lady stomping grapes fall and writhe and moan on the ground.

hysterical. thanks Derrick. (Side-note, i told the girls at small group yesterday about Wipeout. i can't wait til its back on. that, friends, is the best show EVER conceived.)

I watched the Changeling on Monday night with Danielle...AJolie was nominated for an oscar for her performance in it, so even though the oscars had already occured, i thought better to watch it and to say that i had seen at least two oscar contenders. that way i'm less biased. (On Sunday night, i was totally rooting for the Reader, but that's because it was the only movie i had seen...next year: goal: to watch all the nominated films so that i can make a fair and impartial decision.)

so, i had initally wanted to see the changeling based on the previews. shelby quirk: i don't like reading the back of movies in the video store, or if someone asks me to go see a movie and i don't know too much about it, i won't ask around and get a understanding about what it is regarding.

I like the surprise of knowing that it is brand-new to me. A complete adventure to lose yourself in without preconceived notions of what it will be like.

This is where it all went wrong w/ the changeling. I saw the preview.

I thought it was about alien abduction. Aliens abducting kids, filling them with mini-aliens and then returning them to their parents. Something like M. Night Shamalan (sp?) would write.

I was wrong.

Yes, there was some child abduction, but nothing involving mini-ET's snatching children from beds. It was mostly just mistaken identity.

Which, if i were a member of the academy, would not justify an oscar. Which, explained why she didn't win.

Note to Clint Eastwood: next year, if you want to have someone win an oscar: alien abduction. Its the only way.

ok, i'm better now...

i think i'm (what is it called when you get tired and moody because you don't eat much?)

I think i have that. For the life of me i can't remember what that's called.

Yes, i graduated college.

Yes, i consider myself reasonably educated.

I just can't remember that word.

But, i'm better...and not as stressed, and not as tired. :) I think it was the rootbeer.

do you ever just get so tired?

Right now, i am absolutely beat.

Like, the next person that i talk to is going to get less than 100% of me. I hate that. I always, ALWAYS give 100%. (Someone told me once that its impossible to give 110% of yourself...you can't give more than you have to give...so everytime people say they want 110%, i get argumentative in my brain...sometimes it comes out. Sometimes it doesn't. Right now, for arguments sake, i'm not going to go there because i don't want the online world to think that i'm always harping on something...really, in real life, i'm a nice person. Quirky...with lots of opinions, but nice in general.)

Back to the issue at hand. I always, ALWAYS give the most that i can. Try to do everything that is physically within my power to get the job done on time and in the best way possible.

Not right now...i'm just so tired. Not physically, although that is part of it. Mentally, i'm fried. Going from one thing to the next ALL THE TIME makes me want to cry. To always have something that didn't get done, or something that could've been done, or should've been done.

Its exhausting. Is this the way it always is going to be? When does this stop? When i get married? When i have kids? A sinking suspicion, and lots of testimonials from my friends tell me that it never stops. I know life has its ups and downs, and sometimes more downs than ups, and by no means am i equating my tired life right now to someone with real issues that they are experiencing. On the "life" scale, my issues are totally minor. I just wonder...how is this life thing supposed to work?

Beyond actually pressing through and getting all of my stuff done (which, i've decided, is my only course of action), the only thing that will make me feel better is watching 23 women eviscerate Jason on the Bachelor: The Women Tell All tonight. That damn guy needs a good reaming. And, while i watch that, i'm probably going to force my roommate to drink mojitos with me. I drank mojitos on Saturday night while watching Indiana Jones: Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, and i didn't really follow ANY of what was happening. (is it just me or was that movie INSANELY confusing? or was it the mojitos?) Either way it was the best Saturday night i've had in a long time. And, tonight will probably be the best Monday night i've had in a long time. the common thread there is mojitos.

Maybe i'll put mojito in my coffee...water bottle...cereal and everything else that needs some sort of liquid added. THAT will make me less tired. Problem solved.

two things:

I have a few countdowns:
48 days until Reno. Delicious.
68 days until Seattle. Awesome. More on this in a second.
142 days until Coldplay. Oh, i just peed my pants a little in excitement. (Kinda like that time we were at Judah's birthday party and i piddled because i jumped too high on the trampoline.)

In Seattle news, my mom e-mailed me to ask me about "hosting" her garage sale the Saturday that i'm there. Guess Saturday won't be the day that i go and get my 2.5 hour deep tissue Swedish massage followed by my 1 hour steam to get all my toxins up and out. Oh well. That'll have to wait for another day.

My mom is FAMOUS for bribing us kids... i mean, when i was little, she paid me 20 dollars to go to youth group. In a way, my mom used money to entice me to become a Christian. (Ok, that is stretching it a LOT...just kidding...but she did pay me to go to youth group for a month.)

So, for this garage sale, she told me that she would let me take all the profits if i sit there for 5 hours. Nothing like using my vacation to try to earn some extra cash to pay for my vacation that i'm already paying for in cash. Dave Ramsey would be so proud.

Danielle, this is for you: I almost wrote a blog the other day about how having a disabled parking placard would make my life easier. But, then i thought about you, and your blogging comments as of late, the potential comments i would receive, and i thought, "better leave that rant inside my head instead of putting it down on paper." I don't want blog-hatas. I just want the world to love each other. Preferably, if the world could love each other at the Coldplay concert, that would be even better.

I'm going to die. I'm buying tickets next week.

And...in random Mormon news: WHAT DO THEY FEED THOSE BOYS TO MAKE THEM SO HOT?!?! Ladies and Gentlemen, in this day of TV history, we have two FINE mormon gents on TV: Chet on the Real World (who makes me DIE with his fashion on his sayings...i'll remember what one of them is and post it later) and Tyson on Survivor (who i would maul if i saw him in real life...his sense of humor is unreal). Wow...I'm just marveling at God's creation.

dear jesus...thank you for my clients

and when they send me 100 gift cards to starbucks.

what happens in reno stays in reno

As a few days ago (13th to be exact) marked the 2 month mark to countdown to my birthday, its natural (isn't it?) to get into planning mode and start figuring out what should be done.

So, as roommate and I were sitting, watching Jason make the biggest mistake of his Bachelor career (more to come on that later), she proposed Reno! WHAT?!?! I didn't even know that was an option. As it turns out, oh, yes, Reno is an option. Staying at her aunts house for free...going out to dinner...ice skating (which i've never been a big fan of, mostly just for the fact that i'll probably break both ankles and get some gnarly bruises, but what the heck? you don't turn 20-something twice!)

So...in an homage to Arrested Development, i want to go to Reno to see the blue man group, and all the fun things that Reno has to offer. And, by my blog title, in no way am i implying that anything untoward will happen there that would need to then stay there. Its just a witty little comment that means absolutely nothing...which, i would hope, dear reader, you have now come to expect from my blog.

Other things from this weekend: I will go in chronological order.

Prior to going out and getting margaritas to "celebrate" Valentine's Day, i burned my hand in a gory way on my flat iron. Welcome to one of the perks of being a girl: third degree burns in the shape of little small rectangles. It hurt like the dickens and now is small, flat and devoid of any sort of fingerprint becuase its been burned away. If i wanted to go commit a bank robbery with one hand (my right hand index finger), i'd totally get away with it. Bingo!

Sunday: aka "please God, just let me die" day. Welcome flu. Please, come in, stay a while. I got up that day, somewhat ready to make the trek up to Mercy, and did end up going up there, after stopping by Target, Manhattan and Starbucks with Niki. However, when we got up there, i knew i needed to go home. I wasn't throwing up yet. YET being the opperative word here. I drove homeand proceeded to lay on my red couch for hours and hours and hours, while the chills would wash over me, and then i would get so hot i couldn't hardly stand it. And then i would get a text, which would mean i would have to lift my arm (which was so heavy...why was my arm heavy?) and answer the text while my fingers were freezing cold outside of my blanket. Crackers, water, crackers, sprite (thanks Abby!), crackers, vomit, mouth wash, crackers, water, crackers, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep. Wake up! Welcome roommate home, she goes to bed, and then i go back to bed, for what must've been my 18th hour of sleep in a 24 hour time period.

Monday: still queasy, but feeling better, i brave new worlds: solid foods! Oh, man, by 6pm yesterday i was RAVENOUS. Like Edward with Bella that first day. Except, i endulged. I went buck nutty on any and all protein in the house. It was delicious. I got my strength back, just in time to watch the Bachelor and the City and then go to bed.

Here's my problem with the Bachelor: Jason is just like any other, non-Christian guy out there. We have all put him on this pedestal becuase of what happened to him with his ex-wife (they got divorced. so has half of america), and then with deanna (she broke up with him. that's also happened to half of america.). So, now, here is this "amazing" guy, who really just wants to get these girls to say to him that they are falling in love with him, so that he can invite them to spend the night with him in this fantasy suite and get it on, and only, to then kick off the one that he should've picked in the end. I was a die hard Jillian fan (and hey, buddy, what is with all the damn nicknames???). I think she should be the next Bachelorette (which is flawed in that it reverses traditional male/female roles, in my opinion). But, because of last night, i could give a flying crap what happens next. he can pick emotionally stunted Molly or "say the right thing" Melissa and i truly would not care. Will i still watch it, um, yeah. Will i still comment on it like they are my friends and i'm fully invested in their lives. Probably. Does that give me some sort of idea as to why i'm still single? Yep. I have made best friends with people on tv. I'm totally ready for a relationship.

And, while we are on the subject of guys like Jason, i gotta be honest: (RANT ALERT!!!) i've encountered a fair amount of guys in these past few months who are just like Jason. And some tell me to my face that all guys are just like that. That sex is a natural part of a dating relationship, and that I'm borderline retarded to desire something different, something more. Yes, i fully understand that the world that i live in of celibacy and purity before marriage is not the way the world does it, but that doesn't mean its retarded. Nor is it foolish. I think this is a perfect example to me that, as Christians, we are called to live by a higher standard. Ugh, if i hear one more person insinuate that I'm retarded for wanting something more out of a dating relationship than sex, I'm going to scream and rip their head off.

Ok...i'm lowering my blood pressure. Deep breathing. Sorry, it just gets me all worked up!

Coldplay: July 10th: Portland. July 11th: the Gorge (first saw Dave there and i'm pretty sure got high second-hand from sitting on the grassy knolls). July 13th: shoreline ampitheater in San Fran. Who is up for it? I gotta see them...if i don't, i'm going to die. Just die.

And, i've decided: 2009 is the year when i'm going to start living. I've had enough of this working crap. I mean, yeah, its totally important, and i love my job, but my goal is not to work so that i can make other people rich. My goal: work so that i can really live. So...who wants to start living? Let's do this!

who wants to see death cab in april

they are coming to sac. oh, please. oh, please. oh, please.

thank you government...

for accepting my tax return on Monday of this week, and giving me money on Friday. You are quite prompt, and I appreciate it.

Actually, my fully funded 1000 emergency fund appreciates it.

And, my FICO score appreciates it because i've closed another two credit cards.

So, federal government, I appreciate you. You've done well by me today, and for that, you deserve a day off.

from my childhood...

do you ever have things that you remember watching from your childhood. like pbs specials?

I have two that i keep on remembering and from time to time will ask random people, "Hey, do you remember this?"

Listen to either of these, and tell me if you remember them.

The Snowman...its an animated special with a snowman who kidnaps (in a nice way) this little boy and takes him to this gathering of a bunch of different snowpeople during the night when he should be sleeping. They dance and generally make mirth and merriment until its nearly dawn, at which point, they fly home, and the next day the snowman melts. Its chock full of haunting ballads that sound like they are from the Moors of England.

I think Hannah remembered that one when i asked her once about it. Or, she had one of hte songs on a CD, and i was instantly brought back to my childhood.

The other story was also a animated special...it was almost like a book that had been animated (like you would see on Reading Rainbow). This one was about a family who lived in a city in an apartment, who had a big brother, and they had just had a baby. It follows the baby from when its newly born to when it gets to be toddler age and the child (whose name was Bunny) is found to have a severe hearing impairment because she plays while Mommy and Daddy talk to her, and she never responds.

Its not a funny story. I don't remember why it made such a huge impact on me, but i remember loving it and being so saddened by it all at once.

No one that i've ever talked to remembers deaf Bunny. Maybe i made it all up. Until i find someone who remembers it, i'm going to hold firmly to the knowledge that its not just some made-up story that i created in my mind. Its real. I believe it.

Snow Shoeing

Its Saturday...and what does that mean? Snow. But, really, for Redding, that meant 80 degrees of crazy January weather. So, what did we do? well, we went to the snow. Lassen is beautiful in the winter...and even more beautiful because we were there. It took longer to get there than we were actually there... but the time that we did spend was amazing. Lovely. Wet.

All the single ladies found a boyfriend...one that was stoic, quiet and a little cold. Not my "perfect" guy, but he did the job for the day.

At this point, i was happy that our own personal Ranger Rick had made us stay silent in the wilderness for a minute, experiencing the deafening silence of serenity that happens when you are out alone in the Lassen backcountry. I was so happy that i was lost in my own little world. (And trying to get a little tan on my face.)


In the back of me was Ranger Rick. He was (in my imagination) in LOVE with the other Ranger Rosie that accompanied us. They would make coy little jokes back and forth to each other that made me think that either they had a little something something going on, or that they had liked each other, then they went out, she wasn't feeling it, and now its awkward between them because he still likes her. Sometimes its fun to imagine these things.

All in all, great day, great friends.

yesterday i was walking along the path towards my office

and someone saw me and said "oooh, all black" like i was some goth chick or something.

it really got under my skin.

because, 1. i'm not goth, although i am sarcastic. and 2. my outfit wasn't all black. if they would've looked closely, my jeans are a dark denim wash (not black) and my jacket was a dark grey (not black). get your fashion eyes checked, miss.

and then her dogs almost attacked me and she started laughing.

it was not a good time to be me.

after much prodding from sarah, and a guilty comment she left me...

here it is...my first blog of 2009? i think? its bad when you don't even remember the last time you blogged. maybe i blogged before in 2009

i've been on a blogging drought. not a fast...i've wanted to write. but just, what about? money? well, i spent the majority of my 1000 emergency fund on stuff i "needed" for philly. in retrospect, i want that $1000 back in the bank because i'd like to be farther along than where i am financially, but i don't regret it...so, am making the best out of my financial situation. I spent (literally) 3 hours this last long weekend going over and over and over my budget, figuring out how long it will take me and when i will have all my consumer debt paid off. Good news: by Dec 2009, all will be paid off (best case scenario). worst case scenario...i buckle and buy another pair of DK's and i'll add one more month to the backend of when i'll have everything paid off. Right now, i have dave ramsey in my ear "there's always an opportunity cost"...yes and no. Yes, i want to be out of debt more than anything, and have the hope that its absolutely possible (and have the gazelle intensity to go along with that hope), but no, i'm not going to stop living my life and doing things that make me happy. I just refuse to go into debt anymore to do those things. so...progress, my friends, this is what we call progress.

other stuff to write about...my coffee ulcer? ok. this morning, no clean cups at work. i poured my piping hot coffee into a double-cupped red solo cup that usually is the home for soda or beer. me...coffee. i'd rather burn my hand than wash the 8 or so old coffee cups in the sink, or the 4 old coffee cups in my office. i'm a slob. But, on that front, i've stopped starbucks, save for one every other week. That damn corporation was sucking up too much of my money. It was mainly a fiscal decision, but it had nice health benefits too. And, i could never get over the embarassment of those baristas seeing me on an almost daily basis...yep, hi, its me again, i'm a slave to your caffeinated beverages and am like a junkie who missed her fix if i don't get it. Just me...can you do it intravenous this time? it'll be quicker.

what else...oh philly. that city...i swear, is not my favorite city in the world. in fact, i kinda hate it. from now on, i'm only going on work trips to places like....tucson, fargo, and seattle. either really nice and warm, really cold and wintery, or home. not to janky cities like philly. i vomited in my mouth a little bit when we landed in philly that first night.

there's gotta be more...oh yes, i'm thankful for redding. its small, pretty, and i like that its my home. plus, its got some pretty freaking fantastic people here...so, what is not to love. And, i'm thankful for my small group. We are starting survivor here in another few weeks. Beautiful. Sometimes, people tell me that they didn't know that we were really that bound by the TV that we watch, and without TV, we don't hang out for all that long. Here's the thing, though, friend of mine who told that to me, i disagree. Thursday nights are a catalyst for other intentional events throughout the week. Yes, we are all really busy, but if we get together on Thursday, that reminds me to hang out with a group member during the week. And, for me, my love language is totally time spent. Spend time with me talking, and you and i will be best friends. So...I'm happy our shows are coming back. And, for our small group. And, for Abby bringing that lamp to our white elephant Christmas exchange, becuase i'd been really wanting a lamp for so long. So...it was Jesus' way of giving me a lamp...hopefully because he was so proud of me of all the progress i've made financially.

and, lastly, honor. i've loved the series so far. its totally challenging to me, a girl who, by all accounts is super-proud. sometimes, i need to put all that pride aside to honor those around me. those who deserve it, and more difficultly, those that don't. it kinda pisses me off that i have to honor the people that don't deserve it, but its all a part of being a good witness, so i'm going to get on board.

so...here's to 2009. Its going to be a banner year, full of fun with friends, fun with finances, and learning how to be a better person. Speaking of fun with finances, if you want my pay-off list based on each paycheck and corresponding balances on all my other debts written out, just let me know. Honesty and transparency are the names of my game. I have all of it in my pretty little head, and also in my budget binder (yes, i have a budget binder) seperated by month.