hello ulcers

why is it that God's sweet nectar also comes with the added bonus of an ulcer? here's my problem...i get all hopped up on coffee and then i get too anxious, caffeinated, heart-murmury and sick because my stomach lining starts to burn.
why?
it hurts so bad. :(

this is why weekends are important...

because i don't think about work. I think about my personal life and how to make it better and more fulfilling.

Friday night: Vintner's Wine Cellar and the Eatery. Good times. I had my first half glass of white wine in about 4 years. It was pleasant. I watched Abby get accosted by a half-drunk cowboy who only wanted to twirl her around on the dance floor. She stood her ground though and no meant no. Got the giggles from a chainsaw-wielding masked man who came out of the haunted house near where we parked. He was trying to scare us, and he did succeed as someone in the car got freaked, but to me, its just priceless to look over at someone wearing a white hockey mask revving his chainsaw. I channeled Sarah and thought "seriously dude? really?"

Saturday: babysat. FUN TIMES! I love the kids that i babysit for...I will not name names to protect the innocent, but they are so much fun and I love being crazy with them. I think the thing that I love the most is that I'm just myself with them, i don't talk to them like they're kids, I talk grownup-ese with them, and as a result, I'm sure their cognitive and reasoning skills have gone up dramatically since I've started watching them. Well, actually, probably not, since they are pretty dang smart kids. However, I love it when I tell them something, and they see my logic, or find the humor in my sarcastic statement. They kinda make me think that maybe i do want kids. (well, them, along with judah and zoe who are just too cute for words...if i could have kids as well behaved as all of them, i might give it a go...)

Went on a walk with Juliette. Good times, although i dressed like it was going to be a fall-walk, and it was very much a late summer walk, which made my makeup melt off my face. boo. What is with global warming? Where does a girl have to move for a little taste of the 4 seasons? And, I'm not talking the restaurant. We are in prime-time fall here, and i feel like I'm missing out. boo x 2.



Stirrings message this week was the drunk elephant in the church. Ironic because on Friday I got the following little pressie from a client of mine.

Yes, that is a baby flask located right on top of the biggest bottle of petron I've ever owned. Shh...its a secret...I don't think I've ever really drank petron. I have no recollection of how its supposed to taste and I don't know if I will like it. Nevertheless, the baby flask with Big Sky Country emblazoned on it is definitely one of my most favorite little presents I've ever gotten. Its just so dang cute.

So, the drunk elephant in the church. Do I really think we have a drunk elephant? You bet your sweet ass I do. Do I love the points that Nate made yesterday, absolutely. For me, I love a good cocktail, a mojito, a margarita, a gimlet, an egg creme (actually, the last two are on my list of things to try before the year is out). But, I learned long ago that drinking is best done within the comfort of close friends. I don't drink to get drunk, but i love a good giggle. Ultimately, i think as long as I am not walking on this alcohol crutch, I'm in good shape. Good times...good words.

Here's a question though, are we going to cover the caffeinated elephant in the church? This morning i feel like a drugged up girl who dips her hand in coffee, rubs it onto the front of my gums and under my tongue so that i can get that caffeine sooner rather than later.

and, final tally: to tell or not to tell: to tell: 4.5, not to tell: 0. I've got some telling to do.

a blog to get me current

oh, hello my lovelies!
Well, these past few weeks have been so full. Here are a few of the highlights:

• Fireworks. Oh, happy day, last Saturday night Redding skies were finally lit up with fireworks, and this time, no backdraft warning! This made me super happy! I LOVE fireworks, so nothing made me more excited than to get dressed to the nines (well, not really, just in my uggs, scarf, puffer, and snowcap) and go out to the semi-damp field over at sequoia middle school, lay down on a blanket, snuggle up next to my favorite little fleck kids and be shocked and awed by the display. Next on the agenda: petition the HECK out of the Redding City Council to increase their fireworks budget by 100% so that next year we can have two fireworks nights: July 4th and October 18th. Now that I have gotten a taste for fireworks on random fall nights, my thirst will remain unquenched. (? does that even make sense?)
• Clown Baby. Oh, sadder day. He is now the clown that shall remain nameless. He's no longer my baby. Last night, I told Niki they should probably change his name b/c Clown Baby is the type of name I would name a cat and if he's not going to be my cat, he probably shouldn't have that name. I just said that "ass-clown" probably isn't the best name to keep calling him. He'll get confused and feel like he's not that important. Which he is.
• Antiquing. Delicious! The beautiful Tara is going antiquing on Saturday while i run around with the kids. (which also is one of my FAVORITE pasttimes!) I asked her to make a list of all the places that she goes...appartenly Shasta Lake City is a hub for antiquing, and as I have decided that 2008 is the year that I get some hobbies, I've also decided that antiquing and refurbishing items will be one of my hobbies. Unfortunately, it takes money, and right now, while i don't have tons, I do have some. So, in a few weeks, I'm going to take what little money I have and go bargain-hunting in the SLC.
• Budget: going well. I'm sticking to it. Although, I just made some Friday night plans with Abby to go over to Vinters and the Eatery so hopefully my budget will be enough to get me through a beer at each place and not send me into the poor house. Also, in terms of budgeting, I decided, since with my debt snowball, its going to take me til May 2013 to pay off everything (including student loans) I need to get serious about my budget and really take into account the things that I haven't yet thought of. Things I don't currently account for in my budget are: flights home during the holidays (super expensive! 300? what? i'd rather take the 17 hour amtrak ride up there), saving for my schwin so i can ride to work instead of pollute the air with my crazy insane gas-guzzler, CLASSIC 85 volv, gifts for things like christmas, birthdays, christenings and bosses day (oh wait, I'm supposed to get gifts on bosses day...awes.), my rafting trip to Chile (that i would rather do on my honeymoon, but as i am currently unattached, i'd rather save for it and do it while i'm young because who wouldn't want to go rafting in Chile) and many more things that I've yet to think of. So, really, i am a brand new budget virgin, and have yet to fully grasp how interwoven it all is with everything i spend.

In other news, it really is going to be until May 2013 til i have my debt paid off completely, taking into account minimum payments with the debt snowball. That's not too long, when you really think about it. And, I will knock off a lot of that when I get things like my income tax return, etc. Yummo. Remember in elementary school when you had those links of paper that would give you a visual of how many days to Thanksgiving break or Christmas break or summer break? I think i'm going to make one of those to when i'm going to be debt free. Its going to be 1650 days until May 1, 2013. I'm going to circle it around my apartment to be a visual on how close (or not so close) I'm getting. Boo-yah. (well, i won't really do it, because it will take a lot of time and effort to make it. But, if someone wants to send me a 1650-link chain, please do! :)

And, thanks to my new roommate, i have a hairstylist (which saves me on hair every six weeks) and she is a great resource for finding good shirts at Target. So, fashion and hair in one! i'm a lucky girl.

Finally, straw poll time: if you've been crushing on someone for a long time: tell or don't tell? Rejection or possible Love of Your Life/Honeymoon in Chile on a raft in class 5 rapids/possible death?

I really want to know the thoughts out there.

so, i'm looking for stuff to sell

its important to sell the stuff you own when you are trying to build up your savings. or so Dave Ramsey says. if you are my friend, come buy my stuff. or, if you have stuff to sell, send it to me, and then i can sell it and take all the proceeds and put it in my savings.

In other news today, I've never been SO EXCITED to be over with a day of work. Please, please, who out there wants to be my executive administrative assistant? I'll pay you well (in love and admiration) and you'll always get off on Fridays at 3pm. And, I'm a pretty good boss. I love to draw pictures of you while you work (they are pretty sweet...stick figures and such). I'll probably make fun of you a little bit once we get to know each other. And, in the end, I'll ask you to do all the stuff that I hate doing.

Sound good?

Great...the job is currently hiring (not really, don't ask me if I'm being serious, cause I'm not) and I'm looking to get someone in place by noon tomorrow. So, if your schedule is free, come on in. (Don't really come in, or else you will automatically be disqualified from the job due to inability to detect sarcasm in the written word.)

I actually have a really good idea for tonight...margarita's and the corn maze in Anderson. Who's down?

while the lighting isn't fantastic...

It still captures the essence of new winter short hair. (julie, get ready for a boo-yah count!)

Before!

After!
Boo-yah! Too bad I'm a cold-blooded person and i need to wear a scarf during all of winter. But, nonetheless, the hair is short and the cut is sassy and the best part was that the time in the salon chair was spent in my living room, watching the Hills and the much-beloved Hills Aftershow.

Thanks Rebekah David! you are amazing!

(and, also with this delicious quick before/after blog, you get the amazing observance that isn't it funny when weight loss/acne care/make-up infomercials do the before and after? With the first picture I can just hear the photographer telling them "just act like you feel like the worst person in the world, let your unhappiness radiate." so they pout, they don't smile, the don't look fierce. In short, they communicate "you would NEVER want to be me." But, then, the after picture is all joy and vitality and "i've never felt better about myself and have bought a life-long supply of product X that will now make me the better version of myself that i've always knew was possible, but just never experienced."

an update on clown baby

he's been ripped from my fingers due to the evil dictator of the CCA.
really, i just asked if i could keep him and the manager said no.
I'm crafting a strongly worded letter that will go over the following talking points:

• I've been crying off and on for three days straight
• I'm VERY attached to him
• he's been neutered; no "spraying" will occur
• I'll pay an increased security deposit asap
• I'll consider paying more per month and increasing my lease
• I've been crying a lot
• pending the decision, "we" may have to make a decision about what to do when the remaining four months of our lease is up.
• the crying was about three solid days of puffy eyes and running noses.

I don't know if this is going to work. I plan on googling "how to get what you want" or something along the lines of writing a persuasive letter. And, so, hopefully, they'll reconsider.

Its a lesson in sometimes you have to ask for what you want. And, sometimes, if the first answer is no, you have to ask a little more. And, then, if they still say no, you move.

Invaluable lesson, that one.

single, party of one.

let's talk about all those singles out there who are 20-something and still single. waiting, and waiting, and waiting. faithfully hoping that someday their time will come.

all around me, i see amazing girls. just last night, i was at my much-cherished small group where we do many things, chief among them watch survivor and big brother, but more than that, act as a support system for each other. sitting there, realizing that 4 of the amazing girls in the group are fabulous and miraculously single, i started to think about why that was and what kind of effect it has on our ever so fragile psyches.

Being single is somewhat like your next door neighbor/best friend that's in your kindgergarten class that kicks you in the shins during recess and even though you like her most of the time, because you are neighbors, you can't really get away from her during recess when she's looking for some shins to kick. You've got bloody shins, but its from your best friend. Ok, that example may be a bit convoluted. Being single is a mixed bag of benefits and drawbacks. But, why is it that more often than not, it seems like being single is somehow being deficient or less than?
Why is it that the topic of being single is not always discussed? Is it easier to not acknowledge the hurt that comes from being single for a little too long than to acknowledge and not have the words to speak to the situation? Is it too socially taboo to tell someone "buck up! you'll find someone too!" or is it that once you get married, much like a high-schooler forgets jr. high, you forget your single years and only on your worst nights, do you wake up with nightmares of what it used to be like when you were single.

where's the love? why do i search for something, some emotion from someone else, whether its friend or lover that makes me feel like i'm more than i feel when i'm by myself. my single, girl-power mentality tells me "no! you have to find your contentedness even while you are alone." my daughter of Jesus mentality tells me "no, whats more than being single, you are defined by the one who laid down his life for you, so find your contentment in that."

easier to say than do, i'm afraid.

I'm actually afraid of a lot of things. I'm afraid that the longer i go between love-intrests, the longer its going to take for me to trust someone.
i'm afraid that things that once defined my past will define my future. but even in this fear, i recognize that's the enemy. my part in my past is my past. I walk in the freedom afforded me through the love of Christ and his forgiveness and grace.
sometimes the things that i am afraid of are not even verbalized until someone speaks Truth over me.

my friend juliette spoke to the core of my being about 2 months ago. she spoke over me that i don't need to be afraid of sinking into the background, of not being noticed. (in fact, for me, i think that's probably NEVER going to be a problem for me...that's just not my nature, nevertheless, its still something i worry about very much.) She told me that whoever that great man of God turns out being will notice me. That I won't be overlooked. What a weight off of my shoulders, and a huge encouragement to me that even in my daily life, the things that I worry about have already been acknowledged by the Father and he's got it covered.

All that to say, I'd rather this time be one of two things. First, I'd rather it be over. And second, if number one isn't going to happen, I'd rather just be content and truly epxerience a life that is lived to its fullest.

I pray this season, no matter how long, will be one in which we, as parties of one, cling to the Lord, allow him to define us, LIVE LIFE to its fullest because I am a firm believer that we are defined by what we believe in and the sum of our experiences. What's most, I pray this time prepares us for what's to come and that we can be an encouragement to those around us. We are not alone. Even in the dark moments, you are not alone, I am not alone, we are NOT alone.

As an aside, today is a raw sort of day for me. I don't feel adequate to work through all the emotions rolling around in my head and heart. They aren't bad emotions. And, believe it or not, most of them do not stem from being single. I started this blog simply wanting to express some of my feelings about being single. In no way was this meant to be a bash against married people, or calling people to the carpet on inadequacies i see around me. Not at all. Mostly, i was just expressing some of the thoughts that go on in my head surrounding being single. But, while my day has gone on around me, sad things have happened, new beginnings have begun and i'm just a little sad. I need a sunset and sunrise and need to begin another day and have hope around me that this new season will be good.

get ready for the crying game (and I'm not talking about the Irish Republican Army)

it may be time to give Clown Baby away. cue: tears.
yesterday we had a minor emergency at my apartment which turned into Homer discovering Clown Baby which turned into a massive ulcer in my stomach because now I officially have to ask him if I can have a cat (definitely a LOT after the fact).
Its a good process to go through...I'm being more honest with Homer and if he says yes, then I won't have to be terrified of Clown Baby getting in the window any longer. But, if he says no, I'll have to ship off Clown Baby to a friend (2 blocks away) like a little Great Depression kid whose parents needed to entrust him with someone else for a little bit.

Will he forget me? Maybe a little.
Will my "to scratch love on her arms" scratches heal? Definitely a lot.
Will my sleep be uninterrupted and free from fear of being pounced on during my sleep? Fo-sho.

Ultimately will it be better for him? He'll be loved just the same. He may get more flicks on the nose at his new home, but that will make him better behaved...

All questions I have to wrestle through as I face the real possibility that I have to give up my first born.

RIP Clown Baby. cue: more tears. (I'll post pictures soon...)

i made a budget, i made a budget, i made a budget, hey hey hey hey!

So, folks, you are looking at the most responsible 27 year old out there.

well...maybe not! but I'm getting more responsible. Last night, i went through and spent a good 2 1/2 hours on setting up my own personal budget. Some highlights from the evening:

1. I realized that i am more responsible than i initially thought i was. I actually have been working off a skeleton budget for 6 months, just not being diligent to note where every penny is going.
2. I started putting aside money for entertainment (which before i just spent off-the-cuff) and clothes (which, if I'm honest, I don't spend NEARLY enough on...just wear my stuff until it wears out). I'm so excited to have money set aside for clothes...it'll help me be diligent to actually buy clothes. AMAZING!
3. I started putting money aside for that devil of a surprise bill: the car registration. Oh, when that day comes, I'll yell "boo-yah" at the DMV because I'll already have a good chunk saved towards the volv registration.
4. I swatted Clown Baby for getting all up in my budget business. (Trust me, that was a highlight for me.)
5. I realized that in FPU language, I really am a nerd. Surprising, but true. Actually, all the ex-boyfriends out there would probably agree with the news that i'm a nerd. But, I love it. Being a nerd is so fulfilling to me because i feel like i have a handle on things. I know where my money is going, and if its not in the budget, tough crap. Wait until next month. Boo-yah x 2.
6. I realized I don't have to live with the lie that i need to wait until i get married to get my finances under control. I can be a financially stable single girl with no relationship in sight and not have to be the damsel in distress financially. Boo-yah potential suitors. Take that!
7. I started seeing what life will be like without debt. Its gonna be AMAZING! And you know, I'm going to enjoy the process of getting there. I could be super bitter, but I got myself into this mess (while enjoying the ride), so I'm going to take the tough route out of this mess and I'm going to enjoy myself here as well. Life's too short to not find the good in my situations and enjoy myself along the way. Bring on the good times!

So, what I'm really saying is: I'm going to start a Financial Peace University rival: its going to be Money Relaxation College (found at http://www.shelbyschwitters.com/moneyrelaxationcollege) and I'm going to do budgets for everyone (I charge $300/hour). Yes, its a hefty price but I justify it two ways. A: you need a budget. B: I need money. So if A and B are true then that leads to the conclusion that C you need to pay me to do your budget so i can pay my stuff down.

Any takers? (don't actually click the link...it was just a joke!)

its the first rain of the year

and, unfortunately, i didn't get to call in sick and enjoy it.
why?
cause it started raining when i was at work!
one of my previous blogs stated that i would call in sick the first rainy day of the winter. i even told my boss yesterday that when the first rainy day came, she shouldn't expect me to come in, to which she replied that it was going to rain tomorrow and i better be at work.
well, i was and it did.
so, after work, i fully intend to put on my socks and my birk clogs and my much-beloved puffer and go down to the sundial. i will romp around in puddles like rompings never been done before.

and, side-note: this morning i cracked. i called off the moratorium on spending and went to starbucks for a psl. (again, i say ptl for the psl!) Shortly after i brought the drink of life back to work did my other boss call through and ask for starbucks orders from the rest of my coworkers. I could've gotten a free drink if I'd been patient. instead, i was fidgety and thought i could do the best for myself by doing everything myself. I just spent 17.5% of my budget on a delicious coffee drink and pastry. that, combined with the Tylenol is 30% of my budget. Oh well. I'm not starving...i just need to learn a little patience.

fpu

and, side-note, i'm thinking (and briefly entertaining the idea) of posting my consumer debt on my blog, for the mere reason that seeing it public like that will be SO MORTIFYING that i will not be able to live with the shame, and will have to do something about it.
i'm a firm beleiver in the principle that when people know your secrets, there is a sense of release that comes from that. suddenly, that part of your life...that shame doesn't carry weight anymore, becuase its common knowledge, and you identify it and make strides in a positive direction.
so...i'm thinking about it. i don't know if i want to be known as "that girl with the low savings account and one too many credit cards" though.
i'd rather be known as "the wise financial steward who is a multi-millionaire by 30." but, i don't think that is going to happen so easily.

do you ever have mornings when you don't really want to go to work?

i do.
more like, i have mornings when i am late to work, and then the same morning turns into a morning where i don't want to start working.
so, i sit at the computer.

• look at blogs. maybe comment on blogs.
• check my bank account balance. (get angry at financial peace university for making me do things that are really hard, but good for me anyway.)
• check my envelope balance. (I spent 12.5% of my budget yesterday on tylenol at target. Niki says i needed the tylenol (she's right...hello pms!) and it'll last me for a long time. i agree. but that doesn't stop me from getting angry that now i only have 87.5% of my food budget left. I'm going to try and not spend any of it. It'll be my food/david kahn jean budget (or food/michael kors purse budget). because, if i don't use it for food, then i can save it, get skinnier the good, old fashioned way mom used to, and then i can buy jeans. and, i'm "saving" for the jeans...which in essence is a fpu principle, right?!?)
• search the internet for places i can sell some of my shoes (to build up my 1000 emergency fund).
• check blogs again.
• clean my desk off.
• ignore some phone calls, but promptly check my voicemail.

and finally, at 8am decide to make the committment to start work that day.

dang it. who said working was all it was cracked up to be, especially on a day like today, when i would've loved to just stay in bed. (side-note: whoever becomes my main man: he better like working smarter, not harder, so that we have enough quality time, and i can work for the fun of it...that's my dream...let's see if it will happen)

and, here's my forewarning to the world wide web and all those on it: the first day it rains in redding, i'm calling in sick that day. that's a day for pure enjoyment. i'm going to put on my rain jacket (the one with the fuzzy, furry hood) and go down to the sundial, and walk around and get sopping wet. So don't try to find me if its the first day of rain...unless you want to come out walking with me in your rainjacket. Then, by all means, holler at your girl. We'll get wet, and potentially also the first colds of the season. what could be better?

me and tim.

so, for a while now, I have been seeing this really nice, down syndrome kid (maybe 19 or 20) in our apartment complex. I know he lives near the front of the complex, but don't know if he lives alone, or has family or what.
all i know is that usually i will see him ever few days, wave at him and then drive off.
not this morning.
this morning, i was running all too late, realized that the trash in both the bathroom and the kitchen needed to be taken out, so, good roommate that i am, i grabbed them on my way out the door.
immediately when exiting my house, there was my down syndrome, front-of-the-complex friend, very intently putting things in the dumpster.

Me: Good Morning. What do you have there? (putting my garbage in the dumpster)
Friendly down syndrome front-of-the-complex friend: A vacuum. it broke.
M: that's too bad. (turning around to go back to my car)
FDSF-o-t-CF: They always break when i get them home.
M: you should take it back and return it. (walking closer back to my car)
FDSF-o-t-CF: Hey, what is your name?
M:(turning around) Shelby. What is yours.
FDSF-o-t-CF: Tim
M: Its good to meet you Tim!
Tim: I am real sleepy today. I'm coming home at 3:30 because I am so tired. Maybe I can come over and sleep with you tonight.
M: (smiling) Thanks Tim, that's really nice. I think I have to work late though tonight.
Tim: I have a lot of Cd's in my room. You can come over and see them. Can I come over later on.
M: I'll have to check with my roommate... Have a good day Tim!
Tim: you too.

So, i now have a good friend named Tim. I don't think I will be around for him to come and sleep over, but at least I have a friend to look for and wave to!