ESA and the lunch connundrum

Today, in the rush to leave home and get to the office at a decent (although entirely all-too-early) hour, I forgot to grab something to take for lunch. Pay attention to this fact, as it sets the stage for the early afternoon drama that I found myself in the middle of.

I genuinely like my job. I work for Executive Scheduling Associates where I basically am a scheduling associate for executives...hence the name! Part of my job is calling all over the United States, including the east coast...hence the leaving the house at all-too-early hours of the morning. My days usually start at 7 (or if i am being really on top of my game 6am), so right around 10 or 11am I usually start to get so hungry that a mid-morning snack/full-blown frozen TV dinner (of the SmartOnes variety) is necessary. I have been known to stick lasagna in the microwave at 930am. I know...freaky. I run the risk of people looking at me like I am a nerd, but the alternative (being a starving lunatic) is a lot less worse.


Today, as I am at the office, painfully aware that I forgot my lunch, and equally aware that I still have three hours of calling left to do for one client, I go to the mini-fridge and survey its contents (none of which I brought in, so why I am surveying them, heaven only knows). I settle on opening the freezer door, and see this marvelous SmartOnes (one of the best frozen dinners a single girl could ask for). Turkey, gravy, stuffing and mixed veggies. Not necessarily what I would've chosen when I was at the store and putting things in my cart, but hey, convenience breeds necessity. And, at this time, I was ready to gnaw off my left foot and chew on that.


So, I need to give you a little background on this particular dinner that was located in our staff fridge. Its been in there so long, that it should've had its own phone extension and benefits package by now. I can't remember a day when it was not in there. At least a good three weeks this dinner has stared me in the face every time I open the freezer door. Most times, I stare right past it, eyes locked on my own dinner, pull that one out and expertly cook it for 4 1/2 minutes on high, turn 1/4 turn, then another 4 minutes on high, let sit for 1-2 minutes. (Its almost as difficult as duck confit, except duck confit only requires an extra 3 minutes on half heat.) This time, however, when faced with this forgotten, left-behind delicious turkey dish, I had pity on it. I debated for about 2 minutes, talked it over with another co-worker and finally decided that if someone had not eaten it by now, it wasn't going to happen.


4 minutes on high, 1/4 turn and 1 minute later, I was enjoying a feast. In fact, it was so good that I reconsidered my prior opinion about choosing it the next time I visit my local FoodMaxx.

So, my stomach is happy, my clients are happy (because I am no longer a raving lunatic waiting to bite their heads off because they are being retarded)...the world is good.

Until, I hear, off in the distance, "Mom...? Someone ate my dinner." It registers in my brain that the dinner that my boss' daughter is referring to was none other than the SmartOnes Turkey Buffet that i just practically inhaled not even 20 minutes ago. Mortification set in and I hid in my office for a gut-wrenching 20 seconds until I could no longer stand it.

Confession time. I told poor Alyssa that I ate her dinner, and that it was truly delicious, and that next time, if she wanted her dinner to be there, to not leave it in there for days and days and days.

Just kidding...actually, I apologized and told her I will replace it. But, part of me maintains that there has to be some sort of free-for-all limit on frozen dinners.

I'm going to work on writing it into the ESA Employee Handbook.