not "get rich quick" schemes, per se. more like things that i think the world should have..but doesn't yet.
Flashback a month. My roommate. Turning 25. What to do? Chello...Great America! It was totally my first time going to Great America. I felt like a little giddy girl...running around the park getting my hair all frizzed out on the rides. Epic.
Idea #1: the world needs my themepark. Picture this: Shelbyland... "its the SCHWITT" would be the motto. I see a huge archway, flanked on both sides by the big balls from Wipeout, and a constant stream of park-goers queued up to try their luck. Already, as you are walking in, Shelbyland gives you immense joy, as you see person after person fall into the water after they inverted their body in unnatural ways while flying through the air. What could be better than that? Probably a good 99% of themepark lovers would be pissed because there would be absolutely no kiddie rides. This is not a place for wusses. If you want to ride here, you sign a medical waiver that any injury you incur at Shelbyland is at your own risk...you could very well receive a slipped disc from the Extreme Teacup ride that i plan on manufacturing...but that is what you need to consider before you sign up. Can you handle it? You have to be ready mentally and physically. Oh, and sidenote: the restaurants in Shelbyland only serve cheese, diet coke, beer and menthol cough drops and we don't allow outside food at all. You'll be frisked and made to throw all food away prior to entering the park.
Flashback again: 2 weeks ago. i had just had the most earth shattering, joy inducing, emotional experience at coldplay. like, i DIED. (next stop on the list of bands to see: MUSE. douche-bags aren't playing in america though until 2015 it seems. ugh.) anyway, saw chris martin and sang about not wanting to follow kevin or his friends at the top of my lungs for at least a good two hours...worked up an intense sweat punch-dancing and screaming like a hysterical fan when CM got within 150 yards of me. I was seriously derranged and it was the best night of my life.
On the way home, Derrick, Danielle and I had the best conversations...Niki had fallen asleep, so she was down for the count (i think seeing Chris had lulled her into this euphoric state where there was nothing to do but sleep...precious.) But, here is where the good ideas start.
Idea #2: MEOW-BOP. Like Kidz-Bop (my favorite retarded venture where adults pay small kids to sing songs that Justin Timberlake creates about my humps and lumps, so that mom's can play it in the car with their kids and not feel guilty about playing booty-shake music around their impressionable-young-minded babies...totally a fan of kidz-bop. i have one of their cd's. its a fav.) But, here's my idea: MEOW-Bop...for cat enthusiasts. It'll be a cat choir, meowing, hissing and generally making the same noises as whatevers on the current Top 40. Picture this: Boom Boom Pow is "meow, meow, meeeeow"...omg. i'll be a millionaire. Derrick was totally on board. I think Danielle needed a little more convincing, but seriously, we'll rake it in. People love cats, people love music...what could be better?
Flashback to a few days ago: working my cute little butt off...and i start thinking about how to make facebook better. I mean, facebook in and of itself is a pretty positive venue. You only have the option to "like" things, can't "dislike" things (or people...which is unfortunate). So, how can facebook be better.
Idea #3: I'm serious...let's make Facebook for Toddlers! Introduce a Preschool network so that all our 4.5 year olds can connect with all their other friends. Now...as i was walking Clover Creek today with Elaine, we started to talk through some of the logistical challeneges of FBP. First and foremost logistical challenge: child predators posing as children. I won't go into the details, but Elaine and I (well, mostly me, but she was there) have come up with a highly-sophisticated idea combining the collection of a handwriting sample from our Toddlers to ensure age accuracy. Again, i can't go into the details, but let's just say that we do consider the writing implement used (fat crayons are more "toddlery" than a nice felt-tipped pen) and fludity of strokes (what toddler has perfected cursive). I'm confident that we'll be able to weed out the fakers from the real prescheoolers. Second logistical challenge: do most toddlers know how to use a normal computer? I mean i know that toddlers are more and more tech savvy. Judah can totally school me in Leapster...I'm a straight retard compared to him. But, do they really just grab momma and daddy's macbookpro and start typing away? No...probably not. So, thus, the FBP has its own new FBP computer. Picture a Mac...but with HUGE buttons with a "like" button, and a bunch of happy little symbols like a smiley face, and a sun, and butterflies and trees. And, so instead of stringing together coherent thoughts, they can comment on their friends walls with a picture of a cute little bunny. Its kinda like the Jitterbug cell phone for old people, but in computer form for toddlers. Everyone following me? Then...the creative juices really hit. Elaine and i were talking about target launch dates...i said probably Feb of 2010 i'd have these things hitting the shelves. But, then i got to thinking...there's no way we can't get it done by October 2009...just in time for Christmas baby! Let's rake that cash in. And, Elaine, being a marketing genius mentioned the fact that Tickle Me Elmo will be a thing of the past. Or...does it need to be. FBP Tickle Me Elmo computer! It has an Elmo icon on the top, and you can send your friends "tickles" back and forth, and when you get one, your computer starts to shake!!! Oh, gosh. You guys. Someone needs to PAY me for all the great ideas i'm putting out into the universe.
I'll keep you all updated on how we come along in the product development of it all. I mean, needless to say, i'm going to be pretty busy...with casting cats for Meow-Bop (i'm looking for cats with raspy, sexy voices ONLY), and then testing the rides for Shelbyland (and drawing up the nutritional info for all the cheese-items on the menues), and getting w/ Elmo's people to see if they can invision what i invision.
Its tough being me.
