sometimes, i play out scenarios in my mind of what would happen if i went ape on people...

certain people...not just a random ped on the street. (that would be jacked up if i just went bananas over some person walking down the street.)

yes, certain people who have the insane ability to rile me right up. I don't like being rileable. Its not one of my proudest characteristics.

But, this morning, i got all sorts of riled up re: someone.

What did i do?
had a 10 minute cry. (I hate crying at work... it takes me back to the days before i worked at my current job...days of stress, frustration, incredibly unrealistic expectations and feeling like no one really gave a shit about me.)
mistakenly hit a "reply to all" button on an e-mail, and sent an e-mail to some of the people i manage that i shouldn't have...and that makes me feel like a prize retard because now i look weak and technologically-inept.
breathed
talked to my favorite client, talked to one of my favorite friends (two seperate people...), laughed a TON at them and with them
wrote down the number for the Spa Downtown and at 10am (promptly) made a call to schedule a 90 minute massage...which commences in 1 hour and 45 minutes.

and 20 minutes ago, called to apologize to the person who riled me up regarding my reactions that occured this morning.

All things considering, i think that's progress.

and this will be my last post for the day...

the lonely island boys (andy samberg and his crew, possibly to include T.Pain) are coming out w/ a new cd.

so, now, if you want to jam to lazy sunday or ras trent, all you have to do is put in your iPod buds.

it's a great day to be alive.

And, actually, a really great day: Space Olympics will be on the album too.

the changeling

i wanted to post this yesterday, but i got sidetracked from it by watching a lady stomping grapes fall and writhe and moan on the ground.

hysterical. thanks Derrick. (Side-note, i told the girls at small group yesterday about Wipeout. i can't wait til its back on. that, friends, is the best show EVER conceived.)

I watched the Changeling on Monday night with Danielle...AJolie was nominated for an oscar for her performance in it, so even though the oscars had already occured, i thought better to watch it and to say that i had seen at least two oscar contenders. that way i'm less biased. (On Sunday night, i was totally rooting for the Reader, but that's because it was the only movie i had seen...next year: goal: to watch all the nominated films so that i can make a fair and impartial decision.)

so, i had initally wanted to see the changeling based on the previews. shelby quirk: i don't like reading the back of movies in the video store, or if someone asks me to go see a movie and i don't know too much about it, i won't ask around and get a understanding about what it is regarding.

I like the surprise of knowing that it is brand-new to me. A complete adventure to lose yourself in without preconceived notions of what it will be like.

This is where it all went wrong w/ the changeling. I saw the preview.

I thought it was about alien abduction. Aliens abducting kids, filling them with mini-aliens and then returning them to their parents. Something like M. Night Shamalan (sp?) would write.

I was wrong.

Yes, there was some child abduction, but nothing involving mini-ET's snatching children from beds. It was mostly just mistaken identity.

Which, if i were a member of the academy, would not justify an oscar. Which, explained why she didn't win.

Note to Clint Eastwood: next year, if you want to have someone win an oscar: alien abduction. Its the only way.

ok, i'm better now...

i think i'm (what is it called when you get tired and moody because you don't eat much?)

I think i have that. For the life of me i can't remember what that's called.

Yes, i graduated college.

Yes, i consider myself reasonably educated.

I just can't remember that word.

But, i'm better...and not as stressed, and not as tired. :) I think it was the rootbeer.

do you ever just get so tired?

Right now, i am absolutely beat.

Like, the next person that i talk to is going to get less than 100% of me. I hate that. I always, ALWAYS give 100%. (Someone told me once that its impossible to give 110% of yourself...you can't give more than you have to give...so everytime people say they want 110%, i get argumentative in my brain...sometimes it comes out. Sometimes it doesn't. Right now, for arguments sake, i'm not going to go there because i don't want the online world to think that i'm always harping on something...really, in real life, i'm a nice person. Quirky...with lots of opinions, but nice in general.)

Back to the issue at hand. I always, ALWAYS give the most that i can. Try to do everything that is physically within my power to get the job done on time and in the best way possible.

Not right now...i'm just so tired. Not physically, although that is part of it. Mentally, i'm fried. Going from one thing to the next ALL THE TIME makes me want to cry. To always have something that didn't get done, or something that could've been done, or should've been done.

Its exhausting. Is this the way it always is going to be? When does this stop? When i get married? When i have kids? A sinking suspicion, and lots of testimonials from my friends tell me that it never stops. I know life has its ups and downs, and sometimes more downs than ups, and by no means am i equating my tired life right now to someone with real issues that they are experiencing. On the "life" scale, my issues are totally minor. I just wonder...how is this life thing supposed to work?

Beyond actually pressing through and getting all of my stuff done (which, i've decided, is my only course of action), the only thing that will make me feel better is watching 23 women eviscerate Jason on the Bachelor: The Women Tell All tonight. That damn guy needs a good reaming. And, while i watch that, i'm probably going to force my roommate to drink mojitos with me. I drank mojitos on Saturday night while watching Indiana Jones: Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, and i didn't really follow ANY of what was happening. (is it just me or was that movie INSANELY confusing? or was it the mojitos?) Either way it was the best Saturday night i've had in a long time. And, tonight will probably be the best Monday night i've had in a long time. the common thread there is mojitos.

Maybe i'll put mojito in my coffee...water bottle...cereal and everything else that needs some sort of liquid added. THAT will make me less tired. Problem solved.

two things:

I have a few countdowns:
48 days until Reno. Delicious.
68 days until Seattle. Awesome. More on this in a second.
142 days until Coldplay. Oh, i just peed my pants a little in excitement. (Kinda like that time we were at Judah's birthday party and i piddled because i jumped too high on the trampoline.)

In Seattle news, my mom e-mailed me to ask me about "hosting" her garage sale the Saturday that i'm there. Guess Saturday won't be the day that i go and get my 2.5 hour deep tissue Swedish massage followed by my 1 hour steam to get all my toxins up and out. Oh well. That'll have to wait for another day.

My mom is FAMOUS for bribing us kids... i mean, when i was little, she paid me 20 dollars to go to youth group. In a way, my mom used money to entice me to become a Christian. (Ok, that is stretching it a LOT...just kidding...but she did pay me to go to youth group for a month.)

So, for this garage sale, she told me that she would let me take all the profits if i sit there for 5 hours. Nothing like using my vacation to try to earn some extra cash to pay for my vacation that i'm already paying for in cash. Dave Ramsey would be so proud.

Danielle, this is for you: I almost wrote a blog the other day about how having a disabled parking placard would make my life easier. But, then i thought about you, and your blogging comments as of late, the potential comments i would receive, and i thought, "better leave that rant inside my head instead of putting it down on paper." I don't want blog-hatas. I just want the world to love each other. Preferably, if the world could love each other at the Coldplay concert, that would be even better.

I'm going to die. I'm buying tickets next week.

And...in random Mormon news: WHAT DO THEY FEED THOSE BOYS TO MAKE THEM SO HOT?!?! Ladies and Gentlemen, in this day of TV history, we have two FINE mormon gents on TV: Chet on the Real World (who makes me DIE with his fashion on his sayings...i'll remember what one of them is and post it later) and Tyson on Survivor (who i would maul if i saw him in real life...his sense of humor is unreal). Wow...I'm just marveling at God's creation.

dear jesus...thank you for my clients

and when they send me 100 gift cards to starbucks.

what happens in reno stays in reno

As a few days ago (13th to be exact) marked the 2 month mark to countdown to my birthday, its natural (isn't it?) to get into planning mode and start figuring out what should be done.

So, as roommate and I were sitting, watching Jason make the biggest mistake of his Bachelor career (more to come on that later), she proposed Reno! WHAT?!?! I didn't even know that was an option. As it turns out, oh, yes, Reno is an option. Staying at her aunts house for free...going out to dinner...ice skating (which i've never been a big fan of, mostly just for the fact that i'll probably break both ankles and get some gnarly bruises, but what the heck? you don't turn 20-something twice!)

So...in an homage to Arrested Development, i want to go to Reno to see the blue man group, and all the fun things that Reno has to offer. And, by my blog title, in no way am i implying that anything untoward will happen there that would need to then stay there. Its just a witty little comment that means absolutely nothing...which, i would hope, dear reader, you have now come to expect from my blog.

Other things from this weekend: I will go in chronological order.

Prior to going out and getting margaritas to "celebrate" Valentine's Day, i burned my hand in a gory way on my flat iron. Welcome to one of the perks of being a girl: third degree burns in the shape of little small rectangles. It hurt like the dickens and now is small, flat and devoid of any sort of fingerprint becuase its been burned away. If i wanted to go commit a bank robbery with one hand (my right hand index finger), i'd totally get away with it. Bingo!

Sunday: aka "please God, just let me die" day. Welcome flu. Please, come in, stay a while. I got up that day, somewhat ready to make the trek up to Mercy, and did end up going up there, after stopping by Target, Manhattan and Starbucks with Niki. However, when we got up there, i knew i needed to go home. I wasn't throwing up yet. YET being the opperative word here. I drove homeand proceeded to lay on my red couch for hours and hours and hours, while the chills would wash over me, and then i would get so hot i couldn't hardly stand it. And then i would get a text, which would mean i would have to lift my arm (which was so heavy...why was my arm heavy?) and answer the text while my fingers were freezing cold outside of my blanket. Crackers, water, crackers, sprite (thanks Abby!), crackers, vomit, mouth wash, crackers, water, crackers, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep. Wake up! Welcome roommate home, she goes to bed, and then i go back to bed, for what must've been my 18th hour of sleep in a 24 hour time period.

Monday: still queasy, but feeling better, i brave new worlds: solid foods! Oh, man, by 6pm yesterday i was RAVENOUS. Like Edward with Bella that first day. Except, i endulged. I went buck nutty on any and all protein in the house. It was delicious. I got my strength back, just in time to watch the Bachelor and the City and then go to bed.

Here's my problem with the Bachelor: Jason is just like any other, non-Christian guy out there. We have all put him on this pedestal becuase of what happened to him with his ex-wife (they got divorced. so has half of america), and then with deanna (she broke up with him. that's also happened to half of america.). So, now, here is this "amazing" guy, who really just wants to get these girls to say to him that they are falling in love with him, so that he can invite them to spend the night with him in this fantasy suite and get it on, and only, to then kick off the one that he should've picked in the end. I was a die hard Jillian fan (and hey, buddy, what is with all the damn nicknames???). I think she should be the next Bachelorette (which is flawed in that it reverses traditional male/female roles, in my opinion). But, because of last night, i could give a flying crap what happens next. he can pick emotionally stunted Molly or "say the right thing" Melissa and i truly would not care. Will i still watch it, um, yeah. Will i still comment on it like they are my friends and i'm fully invested in their lives. Probably. Does that give me some sort of idea as to why i'm still single? Yep. I have made best friends with people on tv. I'm totally ready for a relationship.

And, while we are on the subject of guys like Jason, i gotta be honest: (RANT ALERT!!!) i've encountered a fair amount of guys in these past few months who are just like Jason. And some tell me to my face that all guys are just like that. That sex is a natural part of a dating relationship, and that I'm borderline retarded to desire something different, something more. Yes, i fully understand that the world that i live in of celibacy and purity before marriage is not the way the world does it, but that doesn't mean its retarded. Nor is it foolish. I think this is a perfect example to me that, as Christians, we are called to live by a higher standard. Ugh, if i hear one more person insinuate that I'm retarded for wanting something more out of a dating relationship than sex, I'm going to scream and rip their head off.

Ok...i'm lowering my blood pressure. Deep breathing. Sorry, it just gets me all worked up!

Coldplay: July 10th: Portland. July 11th: the Gorge (first saw Dave there and i'm pretty sure got high second-hand from sitting on the grassy knolls). July 13th: shoreline ampitheater in San Fran. Who is up for it? I gotta see them...if i don't, i'm going to die. Just die.

And, i've decided: 2009 is the year when i'm going to start living. I've had enough of this working crap. I mean, yeah, its totally important, and i love my job, but my goal is not to work so that i can make other people rich. My goal: work so that i can really live. So...who wants to start living? Let's do this!

who wants to see death cab in april

they are coming to sac. oh, please. oh, please. oh, please.

thank you government...

for accepting my tax return on Monday of this week, and giving me money on Friday. You are quite prompt, and I appreciate it.

Actually, my fully funded 1000 emergency fund appreciates it.

And, my FICO score appreciates it because i've closed another two credit cards.

So, federal government, I appreciate you. You've done well by me today, and for that, you deserve a day off.

from my childhood...

do you ever have things that you remember watching from your childhood. like pbs specials?

I have two that i keep on remembering and from time to time will ask random people, "Hey, do you remember this?"

Listen to either of these, and tell me if you remember them.

The Snowman...its an animated special with a snowman who kidnaps (in a nice way) this little boy and takes him to this gathering of a bunch of different snowpeople during the night when he should be sleeping. They dance and generally make mirth and merriment until its nearly dawn, at which point, they fly home, and the next day the snowman melts. Its chock full of haunting ballads that sound like they are from the Moors of England.

I think Hannah remembered that one when i asked her once about it. Or, she had one of hte songs on a CD, and i was instantly brought back to my childhood.

The other story was also a animated special...it was almost like a book that had been animated (like you would see on Reading Rainbow). This one was about a family who lived in a city in an apartment, who had a big brother, and they had just had a baby. It follows the baby from when its newly born to when it gets to be toddler age and the child (whose name was Bunny) is found to have a severe hearing impairment because she plays while Mommy and Daddy talk to her, and she never responds.

Its not a funny story. I don't remember why it made such a huge impact on me, but i remember loving it and being so saddened by it all at once.

No one that i've ever talked to remembers deaf Bunny. Maybe i made it all up. Until i find someone who remembers it, i'm going to hold firmly to the knowledge that its not just some made-up story that i created in my mind. Its real. I believe it.

Snow Shoeing

Its Saturday...and what does that mean? Snow. But, really, for Redding, that meant 80 degrees of crazy January weather. So, what did we do? well, we went to the snow. Lassen is beautiful in the winter...and even more beautiful because we were there. It took longer to get there than we were actually there... but the time that we did spend was amazing. Lovely. Wet.

All the single ladies found a boyfriend...one that was stoic, quiet and a little cold. Not my "perfect" guy, but he did the job for the day.

At this point, i was happy that our own personal Ranger Rick had made us stay silent in the wilderness for a minute, experiencing the deafening silence of serenity that happens when you are out alone in the Lassen backcountry. I was so happy that i was lost in my own little world. (And trying to get a little tan on my face.)


In the back of me was Ranger Rick. He was (in my imagination) in LOVE with the other Ranger Rosie that accompanied us. They would make coy little jokes back and forth to each other that made me think that either they had a little something something going on, or that they had liked each other, then they went out, she wasn't feeling it, and now its awkward between them because he still likes her. Sometimes its fun to imagine these things.

All in all, great day, great friends.

yesterday i was walking along the path towards my office

and someone saw me and said "oooh, all black" like i was some goth chick or something.

it really got under my skin.

because, 1. i'm not goth, although i am sarcastic. and 2. my outfit wasn't all black. if they would've looked closely, my jeans are a dark denim wash (not black) and my jacket was a dark grey (not black). get your fashion eyes checked, miss.

and then her dogs almost attacked me and she started laughing.

it was not a good time to be me.

after much prodding from sarah, and a guilty comment she left me...

here it is...my first blog of 2009? i think? its bad when you don't even remember the last time you blogged. maybe i blogged before in 2009

i've been on a blogging drought. not a fast...i've wanted to write. but just, what about? money? well, i spent the majority of my 1000 emergency fund on stuff i "needed" for philly. in retrospect, i want that $1000 back in the bank because i'd like to be farther along than where i am financially, but i don't regret it...so, am making the best out of my financial situation. I spent (literally) 3 hours this last long weekend going over and over and over my budget, figuring out how long it will take me and when i will have all my consumer debt paid off. Good news: by Dec 2009, all will be paid off (best case scenario). worst case scenario...i buckle and buy another pair of DK's and i'll add one more month to the backend of when i'll have everything paid off. Right now, i have dave ramsey in my ear "there's always an opportunity cost"...yes and no. Yes, i want to be out of debt more than anything, and have the hope that its absolutely possible (and have the gazelle intensity to go along with that hope), but no, i'm not going to stop living my life and doing things that make me happy. I just refuse to go into debt anymore to do those things. so...progress, my friends, this is what we call progress.

other stuff to write about...my coffee ulcer? ok. this morning, no clean cups at work. i poured my piping hot coffee into a double-cupped red solo cup that usually is the home for soda or beer. me...coffee. i'd rather burn my hand than wash the 8 or so old coffee cups in the sink, or the 4 old coffee cups in my office. i'm a slob. But, on that front, i've stopped starbucks, save for one every other week. That damn corporation was sucking up too much of my money. It was mainly a fiscal decision, but it had nice health benefits too. And, i could never get over the embarassment of those baristas seeing me on an almost daily basis...yep, hi, its me again, i'm a slave to your caffeinated beverages and am like a junkie who missed her fix if i don't get it. Just me...can you do it intravenous this time? it'll be quicker.

what else...oh philly. that city...i swear, is not my favorite city in the world. in fact, i kinda hate it. from now on, i'm only going on work trips to places like....tucson, fargo, and seattle. either really nice and warm, really cold and wintery, or home. not to janky cities like philly. i vomited in my mouth a little bit when we landed in philly that first night.

there's gotta be more...oh yes, i'm thankful for redding. its small, pretty, and i like that its my home. plus, its got some pretty freaking fantastic people here...so, what is not to love. And, i'm thankful for my small group. We are starting survivor here in another few weeks. Beautiful. Sometimes, people tell me that they didn't know that we were really that bound by the TV that we watch, and without TV, we don't hang out for all that long. Here's the thing, though, friend of mine who told that to me, i disagree. Thursday nights are a catalyst for other intentional events throughout the week. Yes, we are all really busy, but if we get together on Thursday, that reminds me to hang out with a group member during the week. And, for me, my love language is totally time spent. Spend time with me talking, and you and i will be best friends. So...I'm happy our shows are coming back. And, for our small group. And, for Abby bringing that lamp to our white elephant Christmas exchange, becuase i'd been really wanting a lamp for so long. So...it was Jesus' way of giving me a lamp...hopefully because he was so proud of me of all the progress i've made financially.

and, lastly, honor. i've loved the series so far. its totally challenging to me, a girl who, by all accounts is super-proud. sometimes, i need to put all that pride aside to honor those around me. those who deserve it, and more difficultly, those that don't. it kinda pisses me off that i have to honor the people that don't deserve it, but its all a part of being a good witness, so i'm going to get on board.

so...here's to 2009. Its going to be a banner year, full of fun with friends, fun with finances, and learning how to be a better person. Speaking of fun with finances, if you want my pay-off list based on each paycheck and corresponding balances on all my other debts written out, just let me know. Honesty and transparency are the names of my game. I have all of it in my pretty little head, and also in my budget binder (yes, i have a budget binder) seperated by month.

my dk's are stuck in Hodgkins IL

What the heck? They've been on a sad little UPS truck for a couple days now, slowly making their way to me. They started in Davenport IA and made their way to Hodgkins IL, where they've been now for about 24 hours. I googled it...its only about 3 hours between the two, but they were going EAST! Iowa's closer to California than Illinois is! What the heck! They sure as hell better be getting onto a plane and flying to me...if they aren't, oh man...i'm going to be a sad, sad little girl.

well, old habits die hard i think

I used some of my 1000 emergency fund for a pair of David Kahns.

But, guys, it was an emergency. I needed them for Philly.

Don't give me that look.

I'll replace it with this next paycheck.

And, i don't regret it.

The biggest kind of emergency in my life is a fashion emergency.

I'm proud to say, this is why i have my emergency fund.

Thanks Dave Ramsey. If he saw the jeans, he'd approve.

it happened again!

So, this morning, it was crazy cold outside. I mean, you step outside and you instantly get that sharp inhale of breath into your lungs because its so cold. And instead of my mind going to the "holy crap! cold!" thoughts...it was more along the lines of "must....have....coffee."

without coffee, generally, i'm a zombie. Many years of drinking it has created a severe addiction and if i don't drink coffee in the morning, i'm a sad, sad, mean girl. Forget friendly, cute, loveable Shelby. She doesn't come around. You get horrible, sarcastic, debbie-downer Shelby. The $4 for a latte is a small price to pay so that i can spare everyone around me from getting the "please Jesus come back NOW so i don't have to interact with Shelby" me.

So, i jumped into my classic volv...steered it carefully out of my parking spot, while at the same time warming my ever freezing fingers and toes. Yikes...frostbite.

I drive down to Starbucks and almost instantly become deterred by the long line. Ever since moving to Redding, i don't like long lines. I think there's no need to wait in line for something so long. In Seattle, its a given...hurry up and wait. Here, its pretty easy...drive in, drive out. So, nevertheless, the bucks had a good amount of people this morning...at least 5 cars in the drive through.

I navigate though parked cars to try to get to the speakerbox as quickly as i can.

"hi, morning, grande extra hot pumpkin spice latte."

...chatter from the box about it being cold outside...do i want a pumpkin scone?...3.85 at the window...

"thanks!"

Drive forward, listen to some Kanye (i love his new stuff by the way...it makes me want to go clubbing. but when do i club? never... ok, rewind, it makes me want to listen to kanye in my car going to work. BINGO.

I get to the window really quickly...bucks was on their game this morning. they must employ people who are my nemesises in the morning: perky people without the need for coffee. ugh, annoying.

Anyways, i go to give them my card, and the girl says, "oh, no, your drink's been paid for by the guy in back of you. he says he knows you."

Instant look in my rearview mirror. I don't think i know that grey truck? Do I? Does he have me mistaken for the other white volvo who drives around town? Possibly.

I'm instantly struck with gratitude. That's CRAZINESS. Those small gifts that are so insignificant but put such a birght spin on your day.

I take my drink, ask her to tell him "thank you very much.", wave out my back window and drive off.

So cool. And, especially cool because yesterday i started to get freaked out about money. With going to Philly, it just makes me so anxious that i'll have enough money to get what i need before i go. Even with a small little savings fund, i still get all uptight-Tracy because I need to protect my savings account, and i shouldn't be buying clothes that i don't need, and then there's the unrealistic expectations and all the pressure of doing a good job representing my company.

Oh...I love identifying all stress that i need to let go of. The stress that isn't mine to own. So, with that, i confidently say that I'll be able to acquire everything that i think i "need" in time and in budget, and that I will do the best job that i can.

And, i confidently say that even in the small things, that the Lord knows my needs and wants and when i'm obedient to him, he really does open the floodgates and pour out his blessings, one grande extra hot pumpkin spice latte at a time.

goodbye jcrew..i won't miss you

in happy news yesterday, i made the last payment of my life towards jcrew. it was wonderful. I'm waiting until the money comes out of my account, and then i'm calling to close that sucker down. do you think they will miss me? I'm sure they will. I sure as hell won't miss them. (how's that for gazelle intensity?)

now my winter white pea coat and my black little coat that i wear every other day really do belong to me. what if my jcrew card went to collections? would they come and demand my coats back? and could i guilt them into letting me keep my coats by telling the repo men that if they took them i would be cold? probably not... but i laugh at myself that i imagine such a scenario.

i think its really interesting how i always remember what i purchased with credit. its almost like i can't shake the shame of putting things on credit, so i always remember that certain things are not paid off. its funny how my mind works. I can remember things like that, but i can't remember when to arrive at my babysitting houses. I get there an hour earlier than i should. But, at least i know what i used my discover card for.

this is a huge boo-yah to my debt snowball. 1 down, 8 more debts to go.

and, i officially graduated from financial peace university. the only thing better than the ceremony last night would've been if dave ramsey personally had given me my certificate while "pomp and circumstance" boomed in the background. (And then he gave me a thousand dollar bill because he was so proud of me...there i go again with my vivid imagination.)

in other, completely unrelated news, one of my wholesalers tried to sweet-talk my boss into taking me to philly this year for a national sales conference. who knows if i will make the trek to the east coast, but it definately would be an interesting time. looking back, the thing that i liked best about going to philly last year was the flights there and back. I'm a sucker for travel...not always the destination, but give me a good lukewarm piece of cardboard disguised as an in-flight meal and i'm a happy camper.

things are looking up.

this is a first in my life...

$1000 in the bank in my good, old-fashioned savings account. BOO-YAH! Baby Step #1: COMPLETE.

I can understand why Dave Ramsey would've said that this needed to be completed within the first month of Financial Peace University...it does feel like an incredible accomplishment and encourages me to keep going. (Although, here we are and tomorrow is our last class, so apparently, i don't fall quite in line with Dave's timeline...but nonetheless, i've still done it.)

Now, Baby Step #2: debt snowball. I guestimated that by the time that I am done with my debt snowball, it'll be August 2010. I don't know if this is an accurate guess, but i'm hopefull it'll be a bit under 2 years before I'm totally debt free (including student loans).

In fact, i did make a huge payment to a credit card today, and hopefully, over the next 15 days, i'll scrimp and save and find the additional $60 to pay it off completely. With gazelle intensity, i will be a good steward of my money.

This feeling is so wonderful. Not living paycheck to paycheck...having financial margin. I'm much more of a planner now. I've seen this work in my life, so anytime that i find extra money, you'll find me sitting for hours at a time on my couch, figuring out on my trusty calculator where that money will go and what it will pay off.

Ah, delicious financial peace. Thank you Jesus.

(now, i just need to save for some dental work because if i don't Danielle won't be my friend anymore.) I don't want to pay for it though. Its not in the budget.

ok, ok...i'll work it into the budget.

this one is for elaine...

I was cleaning my office this morning getting ready to host some people in our ESA corporate office and came across a cherished momento. A few years back, for my birthday, i got the best present. It was a mousepad with a picture of a monkey dressed up as a business person, wearing a suit and tie, sitting at a desk, staring at a computer screen and laughing.

In the tradition of all those motivational posters that have one word on it, and then a little saying like:

LEAD

You never know who is watching

or

SRENGTH

When you don't have it, you rely on those around you.

My monkey-suited mousepad had this on it:

THINK

It's the people with ideas who get ahead. Of course, if management tries their ideas and they don't work, those people get fired. So think, but keep it to yourself.

Classic. Definately, in my previous employment history that has rung true. In the tradition of toasting: "here's to jobs that you can look at that and laugh, instead of look at it and laugh to keep from crying."